Don't Let Me Down

Being let down sucks. I guess many of my beloved readers could relate to that. But here's my own experience.

Hanging down - 2012

I don't put high hopes and expectations unless I believe in the person. Either out of love, trust or a long history. But most likely, love.

So when I'm let down, it physically hurts me. Beyond imagination . It breaks my heart. I become so angry and could even scream.

I'm usually strong, but when it comes to someone I've deeply loved and trusted, the disappointment and betrayal weaken me.

It takes me some time to fix the broken pieces and be able to stand up again. And of course I lean on other beloved ones to go back to the field and resume the fight.

I don't automatically stop trusting people afterwards. Because everyone is different and it'd be unfair to distrust everyone because of a person, wouldn't it ?

Forgiveness? Yes. I've recently discovered that I don't hold grudges, but only if they come back regretting what they've done. Apologizing isn't even remotely enough for me. I need to feel the remorse and regret. To see, later on, some effort, and eventually, some changes. "Sorry" won't fix anything.

If the regret was followed by another disappointment, it's almost impossible to win me back.

Don't let me down.

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Signs of a Real Friendship

Friendship is not about how much time you spend together or how much you laugh. Those parts could easily be fulfilled since no-one would walk away from you in your best days. Depending on my humble experience in life, almost 21 years, the following are some signs of a real friendship.

Real friends are there for you "when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year". They offer you all possible kinds of support. They'd do anything to cheer you up, joking, making funny faces, tickling you, silly dancing, you name it. They'll try their best to help you in your issues. If they can't give you solutions to your problems they'll try to ease the pain at least. Having someone to rant to is so rare.

You don't feel ashamed being vulnerable in front of them. No matter how tough or strong you are, you expose your sensitive side to them. If you're like me, a rare crier, you don't feel weak if you cried in front of your close friends. You wouldn't hesitate much. They help you glue your broken parts, with no judgement or underestimation. Your feelings and emotions are valid to them.

You know your friendship is real when you don't think too much before talking with them. They'd never judge your unpopular opinions and views. They'd never broadcast your latest news.

No need for straightforward words when your friends can read your facial expressions like an open book. No matter how hard you're trying to act normal, they'll know you're down. They'll respect your privacy if you're a secretive person or bomb you with questions if you're not. Which is because..

They know what you want and need. Advice? Hugs? A shoulder to cry on? Support? They know it all, and if they don't they'll try their best.

Trust is of course a sign of a true friendship. It's not just for keeping the secrets but it's also trusting that they've got your back. They'll defend you behind your back.

Real friends don't comfort  you with a lie. Instead they tell you straight to your face that you're wrong or you need to improve. For example, when you ask a real friend "What am I doing wrong? Why is my life falling apart" her reply would be something like "Because you don't sleep enough. You need to work out. Stop keeping toxic people around..." This is because true friends want to grow as a person professionally, intellectually and emotionally. Even if they know their reply could upset you now, but they know you'll thank them later.

Don't you some times feel weak? Like, you need support making a call or sending an important email. Well, real ones would be there for you as well. Real ones would write your super important email with you sitting next to them anxiously. Real ones would help you write your CV or look for scholarships when you're too lazy or down to do it yourself. Real friends are basically and unconditionally extra arms and brains. I don't want to brag or anything, but I booked a doctor's appointment for my friend the other day, yeah.

Some of my real friends have a superpower. Yeah, I know, right? When I'm secretly sad, I find them calling, sending me old photos of us and/or memes, randomly complimenting me and checking up on me. "I have the feeling you're not okay." And needless to say, lying to them is useless because they end up knowing.

Another superpower some have is understanding when to give me advice and when to just listen. I wrote a whole article about advice, click here to check it out!

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13 Methods How

As a human with a suicidal girl in my life, Amy, I feel personally affected by the whole subject of self-harm and suicide. I want to help, even though I'm not sure I can. I want to understand so I avoid saying wrong useless clichés like "You should just stop thinking about it." I'm unable to fully process the issue, but I try to listen and let her just complain, yell or cry. 

A Remarkable Scene in the Show.

Have you heard about 13 Reasons Why? (Bonus question: did you watch it?).  In case you haven't let me introduce it with no spoilers. It's a series telling the story of a girl who's committed suicide and left tapes for the people responsible. Some of the people who hurt her had no clue they even did. Or, to be precise, didn't imagine it being that serious anyway. But the end result was some of them denying and others feeling guilty after they listened to the tapes. The series became so famous, leaving the viewers rethinking their smallest actions and their effect on others' lives.

Few days ago, I shared this article on Facebook, really well-expressed, check it out. What was rewarding was the fact that a friend of a friend encouraged his colleagues to hangout with a lonely girl at college because of this article. He didn't just read the article and move on with his life, he took a huge step. Did he change her life? I hope so.

So what's my article trying to teach you? I'm sure you're feeling lost and confused by now, but bear with me. 

In a time where teenagers and young adults have more on their minds than you could imagine, we can't shut our eyes to the amount of stress they already have because of education and activities (at least). Their depression and sadness can't be ignored. They shouldn't be treated as punching bags for older people to get rid of their own anger and hurt. They should be taken seriously when they complain or show pain. There's nothing such as "You're too young to be depressed" or "What did you face in your life that was so painful, anyway?".

As for the fellow adults you come across everyday, be kind to them as much as you can. Give warm compliments randomly, maybe your compliment make their day. Maybe they'd feel better about themselves because of you. Tell them you love them. Appreciate their work. Life's too short to stay mad at people for long.

Your words and actions can hurt others without you even noticing, because people are different. And, if you intentionally hurt others, you deep down know it, even if you keep denying it. It's never too late to make it right, unless the victim attempts suicide, then yes it is late. 

So instead of regretting bullying or abusing a person who chose to take their own life, I advice you to step forward and do the right thing while you still can. Suicide, in my humble opinion, can be avoided if people stopped being mean and inconsiderate. I'm not going to say "Suicide is a permanent decision for temporary problems" and all the other good stuff, because it's more effective to stop people from pushing the victims to end their lives in the first place.

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I Grew Up - 20.0

Warning: long article! A sequel is highly possible. 

Today, I'm celebrating my 20th birthday. So many mixed feelings. Joy, fear, sadness, pride. Loneliness. Your texts, voice notes, photos and calls made my day, thank you everyone! [virtual hugs and kisses]

So lucky that my phone captures the selfie when it detects the smile! This, of course, isn't a home-made tarte...

Nevertheless, I decided to write what I've learnt and did so far during my long (yes, long) life.

During the last few months, I read much more novels and articles about politics, geography, history and biology because I truly suck at them. And I only read articles because I wouldn't be able to finish a whole book on any of these subjects, to be completely honest with you. It felt amazing having some information to discuss with people. I no longer felt ignorant as I used to feel while people brought up subjects I had no idea about. Some new friends even complimented my knowledge, which even pushed me to read more.

I had the habit of deleting toxic people from my life. This year, I understood the effects these people's mean harsh words had on me. I blocked them from social media and ended our friendships. Because....

I put myself first. I am my first priority. Some people would find this statement a bluntly selfish one, but no. I chose to put my happiness and health on top of my priorities for many reasons. I'm not selfish, but I'm not about the sacrifice life too. I won't harm myself to make anyone happy. I help colleagues, friends and family as much as I can of course, but without throwing myself under the bus to do so. 

I realized that not getting some people's validation used to hurt me, especially if it's a close person, but not any more. I no longer wait for people's approval of my choices and decisions. I do what I believe is right (in reference to religion, of course, and my own morals and rules).

I take care of myself. Even in the simplest ways. I try as much as I can to eat healthily, take care of my imperfect skin, terrible knees, sensitive colon, horrible back, you get my point...! No-one will be there for me when I'm 30 looking 50. Easy daily steps make the difference.

I give more and more compliments. Only genuine ones. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful won't diminish your own intelligence or beauty. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful will not only make them happy but it'll make you happy too. Spread the love! 

Now, let's talk about money! I have my own bank account, which is really cool, even though my father's still financially supporting me. But it feels great to be sort of independent. I keep on trying to save money, I fail nine times out of ten, but that's okay.

On a work level, I have a professional CV now and a good cover letter. I also have a LinkedIn account, which turned out to be really how people get jobs these days. Currently, I have no job, but I'm trying to get one. Pray for me.

I'm not so scared of sending emails (especially to professors at college and CEOs). I used to be so scared of even talking to my teacher at my French school. I once sent a teacher a text by mistake and I started panicking for real. But he was a really cool teacher and he took it lightly. I still, however, proof-read any email at least three times, fearing forgetting a comma or being too friendly. But I always end up pressing the send button and getting a reply shortly after with, some times, "okay"only.

Even though I started my driving classes at the age of 17 and finishing most of the classes, I don't have a driving license. My parents were too conscious about letting me drive, no matter how many times my dad sat next to me and observed my awesome driving skills. (I'm kidding, they were only fine). I've always wanted to drive, for some reason I don't even know. I know that driving in Paris isn't really practical and driving in Egypt is nerve-wrecking, but I need to get it out of my system! One day, one day.

I don't judge. I've met people from everywhere who have different morals and thoughts and lifestyles. I genuinely don't judge them even if what they're doing contradicts my own morals and rules. The differences can't stop us from being acquaintances or even friends! A younger version of me would've stayed away from them, so she won't be influenced by them. But I'm mature enough now.

I finally blog! Which is something I've wanted for so long. In order to not repeat myself, here's Why do I REALLY Blog.

Click here to read the second part, I Grew Up 20.1! 

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Mother-Daughter Relationships 2

As I promised, here is the second part of Mother-Daughter Relationships. Click here to read the first one, first.

6. New Priorities

This is a mother who found a new person or thing to offer love and time, instead of her own daughter. Either it's a new baby, a new husband or even a new hobby, the girl feels left out and neglected. This is very dangerous, because, again, the girl could hurt herself looking for help and support from strangers who seemed more interested in her, than her mother. 

If the girl has enough courage to face her mommy, or if a family friend stepped up and did it, there might be a chance to fix the situation. That is, of course, if the mother isn't selfish or crazy.

7. Norm

Healthy mother and daughter with a normal relationship. No drama. No lies.

The mother is loving and caring: hugs, kisses and encouragement. The daughter gives like what she receives as well. Since this mother is a good listener and not too strict, the daughter has some freedom and doesn't need to do anything behind her mother's back

On the long run, the child tends to find comfort and security in her mother's presence, she asks her for her opinion and advice.

8. The Cold Bothers Me Anyway

She's not emotionally available for her kids, she does't hug and kiss them. Doesn't tell them she loves them.She could also be described as "unloving". As if this woman didn't have motherhood instinct in her DNA package. Labelling a mother as unloving and cold is still not very socially-acceptable, even though it is true. Not very common, but true.


A daughter of such a mother doesn't feel lovable or worthy of affection. This leads to lack of confidence and courage and self-hate. Also, many trust issues and troubles setting boundaries in her relationships. She constantly tries to please her mother and gain her love, but her attempts are all disappointing.

The girl could turn out as cold as her parent, an infinite cycle then.

9. Indifferent

Indifferent, mean and sarcastic, what could be a worse mix? She could be unloving as well, but it's not always necessary. 

The achievements don't mean anything to her, the failures are mean jokes material. She's too much stress and pressure in her daughter's life. Never satisfied with her or what she does. Never acknowledges her, as if the daughter has never helped her any way.

Infinite cycle, anyone?

10. Breaking a Leg

Her motive could be " I'm doing this because I want the best for you", but deep down, she physically abuses her child as a sort of revenge. Not even necessarily from the child herself. (Even if the child did something wrong she shouldn't be harmed, of course). She has issues and any child's mistake, like breaking a vase or getting bad grades at school, provokes her and seems to her enough to hit her and get rid of all the anger...

An abused child tends to be abusive as well even at young age. Her younger siblings, cousins and colleagues are potential victims. The irony is that, the abusive parent, would punish her for being agressive with them! As for her relationship with her mother, it falls apart gradually. 

Final Word 

If you're a daughter of a bad mom, being aware of her destructiveness and how you life's affected is the first step towards healing. Seeking professional help should also be very helpful. 

If you are a bad mother, and I doubt you'll even notice or label yourself as one but okay, you should identify the reasons of your behaviours, either on your own or thanks to a therapist, and work hard to fix this mess of yours.

Good luck y'all in your journey!

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Friendship

To Kotions,

Warning: relatively long article.

I was told when I was in middle school that it's impolite to take food from a friend if they offered me. I was prohibited to discuss religion, social status or private family issues with friends. My mom taught me to be friends with anyone as long as they're good people, with morals. I was taught to initiate the conversations and friendships, that "Don't wait for people to come and talk to you" and "You should be brave!".

I have had a close friend for years. We were so close I decided to call her "sister" instead of "friend". I was mean to her many times. I won't justify myself. We had some huge fights too. Our friendship ended. I regretted how I treated her and apologised, but it was too late, she already made new friends.

Later, I have had another close friend for (like) four years, I'm not sure, I can't remember. We spent the days listening to the same teachers and walking together during break. Chatting and laughing. We spent the afternoon getting ready for swimming practice and eating lunch. The nights were for our "adventures". Then each went home to do her homework then sleep. And repeat. Some days we even spent the nights talking on the phone about, what was supposed to be, secrets. That was my first long friendship. But it ended, and honestly, it ended because of me. I was the bad guy.

Later, and after a lonely period of time, I made two/three new friends. The reason behind the hesitation in their number, is that one of them wasn't completely in the gang. She was the kind of amie de tous person. Plus, she talked behind our back saying she got bored of us.

Moving on, the other two, let's call them Mary and Mona, and I spent the break time together everyday. Mary was even sitting next to me in class two years in a row. She was one the funniest girl I've ever met, back then. Her comments made me laugh during the lessons, while she was acting quiet in class. She was amazing. But unfortunately, when I left school, we lost contact. Mary was too studious to hang out with me or even contact me via phone or Facebook. I understood this quickly and stepped out of her life.

As for Mona, let's just say she wasn't her best version back then. She flaked most of the time. Each time I defended her in front of my mother, hoping she wouldn't cancel just before the meeting time. We argued a lot, accusing each other of being jealous of each other, for instance. On top of that, she betrayed me in a horrible way. I'm sure her side of the story is interesting, but she wouldn't even be able to justify her betrayal.

The summer of 2011, I made a new friend, in an English course. We had a "project" together and that was how we got to know each other. There was a kind of instant connection. Few months later, we had a fight and friendship-broke-up. For a  stupid reason, and I guess that was why we became friends again. We still are. No words could describe our friendship. Most of it, we were in two different continents! Being busy ladies meant rarely video-calling and since she's terrible at texting, video-calls were the only options

The next chapter in my life was a double opportunity: I met new people during summer and then I changed my school. The kids at my new school were unbearable. I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't befriend them. Mean, arrogant bullies. (Except for few ones whom I still talk to, hey Mai and Yara! [insert multiple pink hearts] ). 

The "summer people" turned out to be good people. I was a better Samaa myself. They gradually became a sort of a family to me over the years. Taking care of each other, helping, giving some advice, going out, sharing food,  travelling, deep talks, working, pulling all nighters... We had it all. Those are the people I wished to keep in touch with till the end. Endless laughs and memories. Infinite inside jokes which no-one could get unless a member of Kotions family. Pranks. Photos. Videos. Songs. Comics. Movies. A long thread of common interests and memories. [insert pink hearts and smiley faces]

Will our friendship survive distance?

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Mother-Daughter Relationships

Some girls have healthy mother-daughter relationships. Others are not quite as lucky. Here are 5 types of complicated mom-daughter relationships, according to my humble opinion with a small amount of research.

1. Too Much Contact

Before you say that I'm overreacting, I've seen young women waiting for their mother's approval, concerning buying their groceries.

I mean, we all like to share our daily events with our mothers, but not in that way. It's unhealthy to call your mama after each and every step you take. "I came home from the supermarket", "I changed and I'll cook now", "Do I put cinnamon on it?" and "Look how it ended up looking!" kind of way. And I swear, I witnessed similar video calls. Yes I said "video".

If you're doing this, then I'm sorry, but you're too dependant on your mother, which will prevent you from growing and learning on your own. Also, it prevents your mother from having fun and learning new things herself! She has a life beyond being a mother, always remember this! And hey, even if your mother is a stay-home mom, you grew up and don't need your diapres to be changed, so leave her alone! She needs a break from you from time to time, really.

Maybe try instead to look for the information yourself instead of asking your mommy. Again, I've been sitting next to a girl who called her mom to ask if Action A is halal or haram. Girrrrl, just google it! Your mother is a human-being, with a degree in a single subject, she doesn't have the answers to everything, and that's okay. Thus, learn to teach yourself. And, grow up. [innocent smile]

2. Wrong Info

Mothers tend, in general, to educate their daughters, stating facts in almost all the fields. But the "back in my days" era was technology-free, which means wrong information circulated more easily than now. In other words, they could've believed in Info A because they heard it on TV for instance, and without a smart-phone to check instantly and only libraries stacked with books to look for Info A at, it was more convenient to believe in Info A. But what if the TV diffused inaccurate information? And then people carried through generations? And I'm talking about all sorts of information.

That's what happens: "No mom, this isn't true, I googled it! They labelled Info A as a myth..."

"No, it's true. I know it. It's a very known-fact."

"Here, look!"

It might look silly and ridiculous to you, but imagine your mother telling you wrong info all the time and you correcting her. She'll go mad, won't she? Hi mama! [smiling and waving] And you, young readers, don't be so hard on them.

3. Fear

"I'm worried about you.", a classic motherly phrase that highlights her instinct towards her little ones. It's great to have someone who worries and cares about you. But if your mother overreacts and forbids you from tons of activities and places, that could be a relationship wrecker. And fun killer for sure!

This could be as a part of #1, Too Much Contact, or it could be a whole new story. Either ways, it puts so much pressure on the girl growing up. She might be too scared to take important steps in her life later on when she has to. The daughter might also lose trust in her mother and seek advice from strangers who aren't trustworthy for sure, but seem more adventurous and fun than her fearful mother.

4. Trust

This lie, that one right here: "I trust you, it's just I don't trust the others." is a blunt insult to your girl. If this isn't a lie, you've got a huge problem, Trust Mother! If you don't trust your own daughter (I can't even process the sentence myself) you should do something about it. I'm unable to even suggest. So you go google it yourself, "young" lady!

If it's not a lie, then you need to talk differently to her, showing her how much she means to you and that you do trust her. Honestly, just don't lie to your kids, and don't yell at me "I'm protecting her!!" because no-one, including you, Missy, likes to be lied at! Keep that in mind..And yeah, keep in mind that a girl needs to be raised by morals that she sees her parent practising too.

5. "Be Home by 8!"

It's a whole different story from #3! This mother is overly strict, for no obvious reasons. She forces rules, without stating any kind of explanation or justification. She treats her daughter(s) as a robot that should follow orders without asking or comprehending.

I'm serious, the girl (might) later on lie to you about where and with whom she's going because you're too strict and stubborn. You, of course, don't want this. Reading a news headline with your daughters picture next to it is no fun, I guarantee.

Dear "Be Home by 8!" Mother, a simple explanation to your kid won't cost you anything, it will even save you the time and effort of yelling at her some extra times because she just doesn't get why Thing B is wrong! Treat you daughter as a grown-up lady with a brain and explain, before ending up with an Oscar-winning liar/actress. 

This article was originally with 10 points, but got split up, so expect a second part soon. [winks]

FIFTY SHADES of ROOMMATES

I used to live alone (read Home Alone article) but, as some of you might know, I have a roommate now, Noura (pronounced "Noora" in English though). And as a blogger, who writes about her personal experience most of the time, I couldn't miss the chance of documenting these...

1. Gradual weirdo-ing

At first, each of the parties tries to act as polite and civil as possible. But then, just few days later, we found ourselves having a conversation about a random topic, college or even personal issues while one of us is taking a shower! And the weirdo-ing has no end...

2. The Little Things

I believe that small details matter and simple acts of kindness can change a person's day. Even just sharing a chocolate bar or even doing you roommies dishes. You'll be surprised of how these simple gestures mean a lot!

3. Extra Pair of Hands

Either it's cleaning the apartment or just bringing you something, it's definitely easier than living alone. Especially if you're living with a nice helpful person who doesn't complain if you ask them for something from the fridge while they're there, for example. But don't abuse your mate, it's not nice.

4. Moral Support

I'm talking about "Just attach the CV! What's the worst thing that can happen?" sort of conversations and prep talks. Noura helped me in this area quite a lot in a short period of time, offering advice and encouragements [insert glittery hearts here]. I gave her some advice myself, not life-saving type of advice, but I did my best so...

5. Become Better

I must admit she's the reason I wake up early for college, snoozing once or twice maximum! I'm always afraid I'll wake her up so I get up as fast as I can. (Although I'm pretty noisy while getting ready, but I'm working on it!) I also try as much as I can to not leave any dishes in the sink because it's annoying, I'm sure. Noura, I WILL DO THEM AFTER I PUBLISH THIS, I SWEAR.

6. Deep Talk

You know that kind of conversations, when you discuss ice cream flavour or your childhood ice cream memories? I call that deep. Honestly, you can know a person's personality from their Top 5 Ice Cream Flavours! Well I just made that up. Okay, Google has a different saying. Anyway, my point is, there are always deep talks when you spend a lot of time with someone. Inevitable.

7. Change of Habits

Similar to #5 but not really. When one of the roommies is a loud person, and the other has a loud notification ringtone, some changes need to be done. Some are more important than the others, though. Switching the lights at 11 pm. Turning the heating on 8 instead of, like, 5 or 2. Some are just advice, like "You should use less butter", "Don't eat now, it's 10 pm" and Noura's favourite "Stop cussing!".

8. Real Talk

No matter how hard you'll try to fake it, a roommie will know you didn't have today while meeting this person or something's not right. I share, almost unthinkably, my day's details and how pissed of I am at this professor or that apple that tasted like the worst thing in the universe and made me cringe so bad. The book I'm reading is terrible and "I can honestly write better than this!". And I listen to "I'm so proud of myself I ran 4 km today". This is how I feel less lonely in Paris.

9. Mother Care

Women are generally sensitive and caring because of what science calls "motherhood instinct". So yeah, basically, Noura and I care about each other. Not in a huge way, but as an over-thinker myself, I can see it in the small actions. Like when I fell asleep and she put a blanket on me or when she was sitting with her back bent and I told her to straighten it, etc etc, you get the point. I appreciate these types of small things.

10. Hallucinations

Okay, so this is the creepy part. At least we find it creepy! Some things, very awkward, inexplicable, happened. 

Yesterday, Noura was sleeping in a super uncomfortable position, and as a caring roommie, I tried to roll her over or something. She freaked out when I touched her then yelled "What's wrong!!!?" and I screamed terrified because she was in deep sleep and suddenly she yelled in full consciousness. Like in a horror movie. 

This afternoon, she texted me "Ah, by the way, yesterday you woke me up complaining 'What you're doing, Noura, is unacceptable!!' and I was literally doing nothing". After denying saying such thing and the utter surprise, I came to the conclusion that we should put mics and cameras in the apartment because neither of us succeeded in believing what she's done yesterday! I mean, I was just asking her how to translate what we said, and I kept saying "I can't believe I said that!". 

Living abroad makes everything a big of a deal, indeed.

A final word! 

Thank you Noura for tolerating me 24/7. And listening when I turn into a "Did you know...?" program, listing random facts with dates and numbers and countries. And thank you for listening to my stories about my weird complicated childhood. Lots of love!

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There's a second part!! Click here to read it.

My Relationship with Reading

I love reading but I'm not a "bookworm". I read mostly novels. All the scientific content I read is online, just few articles, and I fail to finish them. All the time. I have my own bookcase but it's not filled with books the way ideal bookcases look. I haven't even read every single book I own. I'm a terrible reader. Also, due to this occasional awful habit of mine. The habit of starting a book A, disliking it, leaving it, beginning A again, disliking, quitting for months, starting a new book, another and then finally reading A. And what's really mysterious is how do I finally get to finish the whole thing WHILE enjoying it? Some of these books end up ranking on top of my favourites. Magic!

I take novels too seriously. My mood changes with the actions, even my facial expressions do: surprised, sad or disgusted. It's fine, unless I'm reading in public in front of nosy strangers! The characters' tension becomes mine, their struggle, their experience... I relate to their pain even if I haven't lived such situation, yet. I take novels too seriously, I spend time thinking about the characters and daydreaming. I learn from them more than I should, since the events are unrealistic: too perfect or too depressing. Always the extremes. Murders. Eternal love. Adventures. Betrayal. All of these have nothing to do with my life, but I still learn from the characters and invent my own lessons. I bet the authors would be really astonished if they read my review on their books, like "But I didn't intend this!" and "Where the hell did she get this from?". Imagination!

It's a universal fact that books are better than movies. Deeper, filled with emotions and more fun. This is due to the time limit in the movies and changing the character's appearance, settings and dialogue. My reaction to the movies based on books is always extreme. It's like I was the author and the recreation offended me!

On the bright side, I do read now. When I was younger, I had a phase where I hated reading. I don't remember the details, but reading was torture to me. I'm not sure if a good book changed my view on reading or just growing up did it, but I'm slightly proud that I read. Currently, I read while I'm in the métro only, although I wasn't feeling it, and most importantly feared I'd get too engaged I'd miss my stop. It worked well and I've finished a novel faster than expected with zero missed stops!

What's even better than being too engaged and influenced by a novel, is discussing it. Or debating. I don't often find friends who have read the same books as me and when I do it's not easy to start such a conversation some times. It gets awkward, if you know what I mean. And not everyone is excited about it too, unfortunately. I had the idea of starting a book club but got busy and forgot all about it. Online book clubs didn't appeal to me.