Men are Still Trash..?

Apparently "men" didn't appreciate being called trash in the very title of the previous article. Because it's generalizing. How awful!

But do you know what I don't appreciate either?

Being catcalled on a daily basis in Egypt. And what's even worse, being taught to just walk past them. "Don't reply".

Being looked at by bored men sitting on the streets or the coffee shops. Their eyes follow me as I walk, I can feel them. It's scary, especially at night.

Watching beloved friends live after a trauma such as sexual harassment. Their families asking them "to just move on" and telling them "it's okay as long as you're still a virgin."

Feeling helpless when my friend tells me her father refuses to finance her studies. Just because. Another one with a father who gives her less money than she needs because money is more important than her. He told her that. And I always feel angry. Angry and helpless.

I feel disgusted seeing pedophiles living their lives normally, around me. Being accepted by their community. Granted a happy comfortable life. I just want to punch them in the face then lock them up.

Men leaving their kids behind and not bothering to ask about them, needless to say they don't even fund them. Fathers who have no idea how their children are doing, how old are they. In such situations, I find it really hard to advise my friends to contact the "father". It's insensitive and not logical. How could a child care for a parent who threw them away? A parent who never took a part in their life. And probably left them to suffer financially. How?

How about a boy promising his girlfriend to get married one day, just to get into her pants? And then leaving her? And when she suspected being pregnant he came back to her, with all the fake care and kindness, how about that? It pisses you off, doesn't it?

I believe the main reason why this is still happening is because men used to be the ones with the money and power back in the days and they haven't evolved much since. I mean, women evolved, they go to college now and work. On the other hand, there are men who still think that women belong to the kitchen, etc etc.

This won't stop unless we start taking serious actions, like representing empowering women in the media and ending all the old-fashioned content. Ads are still marketing cleaning products to women only, with lines like "you won't get married if you don't know how to clean"!! (at least in the Arab World)

I believe that it'll change. One day. Because, not long ago, girls were deprived from education. Then, they were allowed to go to school but chores and raising kids were still their main job.

PS: "men are trash" is just an expression that has a long explanation behind it. It's not generalizing all men, like I said before.

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Men are Trash

Before you start typing "not all men", please, read the whole article.

Are you following up on this trend on Twitter called "men are trash"? It's not just women complaining  about men, it's men being called out for their sexist crimes and how they get out away with them... Long threads were written to explain the actual purpose of this expression after women were attacked.

And before you say "But women are never called trash as well, this is sexist." Let me just tell you that, there's a whole vocabulary used against women, besides, of course, the actual serious sexism and harassment and abuse and murders..

Words like "slut" and its synonyms belong to this vocab. I could list all of them, but they're too disgusting.

But really, why are men called trash? Are ALL men trash? What's the deal?

If you're loyal and respectful to women, you're not trash. If you actually care about your female partner emotionally before sexually, you are not trash, my friend. If you're a decent gentleman who knows his lady's worth you certainly aren't trash. You're not trash if you believe that your partner is an independent person who's mature enough to make her own decisions and knows what's best for her.

But if you cheat and lie and only see women as objects and possessions, then you are. If you control your significant other, telling her what to wear and who to talk to, you're trash. If you forbid her from working and going out (which is basically locking her up), what the hell are you doing, trash can? If you insult your woman, yell at her and basically use her as a punchbag, "because you have 'problems at work' ", you're emotionally abusing her, thus you're on the list too. If you harass and catcall women on the streets, you're the trashiest of them all. It's as simple as that. 

People usually forget that trashy men are not only lovers and husbands, they could be fathers, brothers or relatives generally.  If you treat your son better than your daughter, giving him more freedom and options, you are trash. If you spy on your daughter or sister "because you're protecting her", whether you read her texts or follow her everywhere, you're trash. If you punish her by depriving her from basic human rights such as going out or even food and money, surprise surprise, you're trash. If you lay hands on her, YOU ARE TRASH. If you debase her for money, you are just...!!

The list goes on and on and I have so many real examples, but I think you get the idea so far.

So please, nice guys, stop the "not all men" and "stop generalizing" ranting because all what I listed was common sense. And let me tell you a secret, if you're actually a good guy, you shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself [wink wink]. And don't worry about the rest of the trashy men, they have tongues and fingers and they can talk and type for themselves.

And I wish all the trashy guys a very sad life unless they stop "trashing".

Final note: I'm not a feminist because I use the "men are trash" expression and keep hating on men all the time. That's not feminism. Feminism is respecting the opposite gender and aiming for equality. I'm doing this, yet..

Click here for the second part!

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Summer 2017: Part 1, Switzerland

Summer is my favourite vacation season and mid-July, I went to Lausanne. As usual, it was kind of a last-minute low-budget trip! I’m a very good planner, I swear, but I’m just last-minute.

There are two reasons why I chose Switzerland over the other European countries, a) it’s the closest one and the trip (AKA by bus, of course) is very cheap and b) because of the NATURE which mainly includes the lake. I felt like the nature was hugging my soul during this trip.

Well, if you know me well, I hate the sea because it’s salty. I mean I go there anyway, but I hate it. And the pool is usually great, yeah. But the lake is just something else. My first lake experience was two years ago in Alpena, Michigan, the States. I fell in love with the lake back then; it was like the combination of lazy waves and sweet water. It was the best swimming experience in my life.

So Lausanne.

Super tired
 after a long hour of
carrying the two bags
and lack of sleep.

I arrived early in the morning and since I had no idea how and from where to take the bus, I went to the hostel on foot. With my two heavy bags and my awesome back injury. It was nice to explore a bit the city even though I was exhausted from the 7-hour bus ride. Thank God it wasn’t too hot or else I would’ve melted. The walk was full of slopes and it was so weird yet cute to see people normally climb them. Like if it’s the norm to have so many slopes in town. Or maybe it’s just me who finds the idea weird, I don’t know, what do you think?

After an hour of walking, I made it to the hostel one piece. Then I kept my luggage in their locker room and went for another walk till it was time for checking-in. I explored the area a little then sat on a bench facing the Alpes from afar and a very beautiful cemetery. 

After checking-in and organizing my clothes and food (yes, I bought food from Paris: ready meals and tuna cans), I went for a walk by the lake with an ADEEF colleague who moved there. We had some waffles as well. The walk by the lake was splendid. I could see the Alpes at all times. So beautiful. It rained a little but it was still wonderful.


Day 2

Most important meal of the day.

I had breakfast in the hostel. The best part was tasting the Swiss cheese and drinking latté macchiato (which isn't available in Paris because they don't believe in mixing coffee and cocoa for some reason). 

Then I went swimming in the lake. The water was a bit cold compared to the outside temperature but it was still a delight. I had lunch by the lake: tuna, bread and an apple. After spending some time admiring the lake, trees, mountains and sky, I went back to the hostel to change and bring a smaller bag. Then I walked in a park a little then sat on a bench for a while to admire the breathtaking scenery once again. I couldn't get enough of it, to be honest. For some reason I was too tired and I napped on the bench. 

Clouds,  mountains, rocks, trees, geese and a lake..

Day 3

After breakfast, I went for a run by the lake and in the park as well. I got lost a couple of times in a mansions' neighbourhood and a place with actual fields that seemed to have corn crops. I don't know, I'm not an agriculture expert.

In the park.

I then met up with my ADEEF colleague at EPFL. EPFL is one of the top universities in Europe and it was an honor to have a tour there. The architecture was insanely impressive. We then went to the city centre and walked a bit. The stores in Lausanne close at 7 pm! I saw the Cathedral as well and the city from above. 

Day 4 and last one

The checking out at the hostel was by 11 am maximum, so I had to have breakfast and re-pack then put my backpacks in the lockers. Of course I finished all of this last-minute. But to my defense, I had a very long talk with an old Swiss lady at breakfast and that was why. 

Anyway, so after checking out I went to the lake again. Afterwards I went back to the hostel to shower and change, feeling like a gangster for still using the facilities even after checking out. 

After getting ready, I went to explore some more with a new friend. It was very nice of her to show me around so many things in such a little time.

My ADEEF friend insisted on taking me from the hostel to the bus station, which was a sweet gesture even though I can always handle the transportation and luggage. When I went to buy some food from a gas station, we had a very long conversation with an Egyptian Swiss man. He was so friendly and I learned a lot from him about the almost-perfect Swiss life. We then ran so I could catch the bus because I was so close to missing it even though we arrived early. Typical me.

To be continued..


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Confessions: Part 2.

Still real confessions, from real people. 

Read the first part here.

Special thanks to Nada for the effort!

"I have no secrets because I'm reconciled with everyone; I hide nothing."

"I’ve always hated my body. Never satisfied with it." –A.M

"I chose a concert over my friends and family." 

"I’m bisexual and I haven’t told anyone yet because no-one would understand."

"I'm paranoid about everything but I still go beyond my limits. I have no idea how I do it."

"I feel guilty when asking about people who don't care much and never ask while I don't ask about people who actually care." – Mayar

"I hate family gatherings."

"90% of my current morals and beliefs are what I taught myself rather than what my parents taught me."

"A handful of my friends are suicidal. Some of them even have had several attempts as well. It's terrible how helpless I feel, even though I perfectly understand what they're going through. I wish I could help."

"People always say that my IQ is zero, I know they don't mean to insult me but I'm tired of this.." -Dalia

" I have commitment issues mainly because I'm afraid I'll make the same mistakes as my parents."

"It took me at least 20 years to start loving myself."

"I won't describe how much I love her, but many times there's a gap between us and I want to fill it. I wish she gives me half the attention and care I give her.."

"When I was young I believed men shouldn't do chores and cook. It's crazy how the internet destroyed my previous beliefs and ideas that were based on what I've watched my family do."

"I have some psychological issues. The problem is I know them and I know how to get rid of them but I can't. Maybe I'll have schizophrenia one day. Or maybe I have it, I don't know."

"I was there for them whenever they needed me. When I needed them, no-one was there for me. I save them but no-one saves me. But I love them so much even if they don't help me. Sometimes they let me down, also. I don't tell them anything anymore cause they don't care."

"I love my sister so much and I hope she forgives me for the physical abuse I did to her in the past. I had my own abuse issues back then."

"When I was a kid I stole a pack of chips from the supermarket." – Fat Kid

"Even when I seem like I don't want attention, I probably do. I hate being alone" –Dalia

"I used to eat my little sister’s food because my mother insisted she 'd finish her plate and she couldn't. My mom still has no clue." –Fat Kid

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