I Grew Up - 20.1

On my birthday, I wrote an article about what I've achieved so far, read it first in case you've missed it, click here! During the few following days, I remembered even more important information and skills I've learnt. So here we go again!

Celebrating my birthday with my paternal family, 2002. I'm the girl in the middle, in case you didn't know.

After receiving a big order
from Amazon

An Egyptian friend would understand the struggle of buying anything online. From the expensive shipping fees, to the different currencies and finally the lack of a credit card to use, I've been there, I did that. There was a time that I asked an older friend to place an order for me because I had no credit card (or even a bank account). But now, ordering online is even a cheaper option! I'm now able to buy used books that are like brand new ones which cost much less than buying them from stores, even considering the shipping from England (because I order English books only). So glad I have my own bank account...! 

Speaking of bank account, I can do money talk now. My parents taught me that talking about money is impolite and wrong, but I grew up to need to discuss money. Sorry mom! Money is important, whether you're applying for a job or have a roommate who shares cleaning products with you! I try not to believe that we live in a pragmatic world, but we kind of do...

My organisation skills grew a little. Every single task even if it was just printing a paper at college is documented in my calendar with several reminders. Important events that I'd never remember on my own such as renewing my residence papers in 22 weeks and that project due after the holidays are documented twice, on my Google Calendar and on my college agenda for maximum organisation. Hundreds of to-do lists were made, even only mental ones. Example: When I Get Home To-Do List: Take a shower, do laundry, cook, revise, do the dishes... That's how I'm trying to get over my goldfish memory and attention deficiency. 

Some adult stuff: original documents. Never hand in original documents. That was a tough lesson to learn. And, always carry a scan of the important documents with me on the phone, it's more than enough in most cases. 

Giving compliments was discussed in the previous article, I'm aware of that. But what I need to add here is that criticizing people instead of giving them compliments says a lot about your self-esteem... Spoiler: you have none! Always give a warm constructive feedback. 

After a long time of reflection at my life events, I came to the conclusion that an abuser was once a victim. And in order to fix the victim, we need to fix the abuser first. Nevertheless, nothing gives a human the right to harm another human. Physically, morally or sexually.

Another conclusion I came to after thinking and reading and researching was that sacrificing too much is harmful. As I said before I decided to put myself first, but being told to make sacrifices for others, when I don't want to, is annoying and insensitive. Also, here's a serious question, why are people who put too much pressure on themselves, neglect their own needs and go too far in sacrifices, so pissed at people who are living their lives healthily and normally? Unfortunately, I've not only met such people, but I still know them...

In this "Me, Myself and I" situation I'm living, with no "adults" to back me up, some people tend to find me an easy target, they talk trash, expecting me to shut up and nod. But hell no, this will never happen! Not here, not in Egypt, not in Mars! If I was right, I'd defend myself in the most polite way possible. I'd write some bullet points with evidence! Witnesses could be called in as well. I'm not the kind of person who accepts such treatment because she's alone or shy to defend herself. If I was wrong, God forbid, I'd acknowledge committing a mistake, ask for forgiveness but then state that I'd prefer a better way of speaking! Adulting...!

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I Grew Up - 20.0

Warning: long article! A sequel is highly possible. 

Today, I'm celebrating my 20th birthday. So many mixed feelings. Joy, fear, sadness, pride. Loneliness. Your texts, voice notes, photos and calls made my day, thank you everyone! [virtual hugs and kisses]

So lucky that my phone captures the selfie when it detects the smile! This, of course, isn't a home-made tarte...

Nevertheless, I decided to write what I've learnt and did so far during my long (yes, long) life.

During the last few months, I read much more novels and articles about politics, geography, history and biology because I truly suck at them. And I only read articles because I wouldn't be able to finish a whole book on any of these subjects, to be completely honest with you. It felt amazing having some information to discuss with people. I no longer felt ignorant as I used to feel while people brought up subjects I had no idea about. Some new friends even complimented my knowledge, which even pushed me to read more.

I had the habit of deleting toxic people from my life. This year, I understood the effects these people's mean harsh words had on me. I blocked them from social media and ended our friendships. Because....

I put myself first. I am my first priority. Some people would find this statement a bluntly selfish one, but no. I chose to put my happiness and health on top of my priorities for many reasons. I'm not selfish, but I'm not about the sacrifice life too. I won't harm myself to make anyone happy. I help colleagues, friends and family as much as I can of course, but without throwing myself under the bus to do so. 

I realized that not getting some people's validation used to hurt me, especially if it's a close person, but not any more. I no longer wait for people's approval of my choices and decisions. I do what I believe is right (in reference to religion, of course, and my own morals and rules).

I take care of myself. Even in the simplest ways. I try as much as I can to eat healthily, take care of my imperfect skin, terrible knees, sensitive colon, horrible back, you get my point...! No-one will be there for me when I'm 30 looking 50. Easy daily steps make the difference.

I give more and more compliments. Only genuine ones. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful won't diminish your own intelligence or beauty. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful will not only make them happy but it'll make you happy too. Spread the love! 

Now, let's talk about money! I have my own bank account, which is really cool, even though my father's still financially supporting me. But it feels great to be sort of independent. I keep on trying to save money, I fail nine times out of ten, but that's okay.

On a work level, I have a professional CV now and a good cover letter. I also have a LinkedIn account, which turned out to be really how people get jobs these days. Currently, I have no job, but I'm trying to get one. Pray for me.

I'm not so scared of sending emails (especially to professors at college and CEOs). I used to be so scared of even talking to my teacher at my French school. I once sent a teacher a text by mistake and I started panicking for real. But he was a really cool teacher and he took it lightly. I still, however, proof-read any email at least three times, fearing forgetting a comma or being too friendly. But I always end up pressing the send button and getting a reply shortly after with, some times, "okay"only.

Even though I started my driving classes at the age of 17 and finishing most of the classes, I don't have a driving license. My parents were too conscious about letting me drive, no matter how many times my dad sat next to me and observed my awesome driving skills. (I'm kidding, they were only fine). I've always wanted to drive, for some reason I don't even know. I know that driving in Paris isn't really practical and driving in Egypt is nerve-wrecking, but I need to get it out of my system! One day, one day.

I don't judge. I've met people from everywhere who have different morals and thoughts and lifestyles. I genuinely don't judge them even if what they're doing contradicts my own morals and rules. The differences can't stop us from being acquaintances or even friends! A younger version of me would've stayed away from them, so she won't be influenced by them. But I'm mature enough now.

I finally blog! Which is something I've wanted for so long. In order to not repeat myself, here's Why do I REALLY Blog.

Click here to read the second part, I Grew Up 20.1! 

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FIFTY SHADES of ROOMMATES

I used to live alone (read Home Alone article) but, as some of you might know, I have a roommate now, Noura (pronounced "Noora" in English though). And as a blogger, who writes about her personal experience most of the time, I couldn't miss the chance of documenting these...

1. Gradual weirdo-ing

At first, each of the parties tries to act as polite and civil as possible. But then, just few days later, we found ourselves having a conversation about a random topic, college or even personal issues while one of us is taking a shower! And the weirdo-ing has no end...

2. The Little Things

I believe that small details matter and simple acts of kindness can change a person's day. Even just sharing a chocolate bar or even doing you roommies dishes. You'll be surprised of how these simple gestures mean a lot!

3. Extra Pair of Hands

Either it's cleaning the apartment or just bringing you something, it's definitely easier than living alone. Especially if you're living with a nice helpful person who doesn't complain if you ask them for something from the fridge while they're there, for example. But don't abuse your mate, it's not nice.

4. Moral Support

I'm talking about "Just attach the CV! What's the worst thing that can happen?" sort of conversations and prep talks. Noura helped me in this area quite a lot in a short period of time, offering advice and encouragements [insert glittery hearts here]. I gave her some advice myself, not life-saving type of advice, but I did my best so...

5. Become Better

I must admit she's the reason I wake up early for college, snoozing once or twice maximum! I'm always afraid I'll wake her up so I get up as fast as I can. (Although I'm pretty noisy while getting ready, but I'm working on it!) I also try as much as I can to not leave any dishes in the sink because it's annoying, I'm sure. Noura, I WILL DO THEM AFTER I PUBLISH THIS, I SWEAR.

6. Deep Talk

You know that kind of conversations, when you discuss ice cream flavour or your childhood ice cream memories? I call that deep. Honestly, you can know a person's personality from their Top 5 Ice Cream Flavours! Well I just made that up. Okay, Google has a different saying. Anyway, my point is, there are always deep talks when you spend a lot of time with someone. Inevitable.

7. Change of Habits

Similar to #5 but not really. When one of the roommies is a loud person, and the other has a loud notification ringtone, some changes need to be done. Some are more important than the others, though. Switching the lights at 11 pm. Turning the heating on 8 instead of, like, 5 or 2. Some are just advice, like "You should use less butter", "Don't eat now, it's 10 pm" and Noura's favourite "Stop cussing!".

8. Real Talk

No matter how hard you'll try to fake it, a roommie will know you didn't have today while meeting this person or something's not right. I share, almost unthinkably, my day's details and how pissed of I am at this professor or that apple that tasted like the worst thing in the universe and made me cringe so bad. The book I'm reading is terrible and "I can honestly write better than this!". And I listen to "I'm so proud of myself I ran 4 km today". This is how I feel less lonely in Paris.

9. Mother Care

Women are generally sensitive and caring because of what science calls "motherhood instinct". So yeah, basically, Noura and I care about each other. Not in a huge way, but as an over-thinker myself, I can see it in the small actions. Like when I fell asleep and she put a blanket on me or when she was sitting with her back bent and I told her to straighten it, etc etc, you get the point. I appreciate these types of small things.

10. Hallucinations

Okay, so this is the creepy part. At least we find it creepy! Some things, very awkward, inexplicable, happened. 

Yesterday, Noura was sleeping in a super uncomfortable position, and as a caring roommie, I tried to roll her over or something. She freaked out when I touched her then yelled "What's wrong!!!?" and I screamed terrified because she was in deep sleep and suddenly she yelled in full consciousness. Like in a horror movie. 

This afternoon, she texted me "Ah, by the way, yesterday you woke me up complaining 'What you're doing, Noura, is unacceptable!!' and I was literally doing nothing". After denying saying such thing and the utter surprise, I came to the conclusion that we should put mics and cameras in the apartment because neither of us succeeded in believing what she's done yesterday! I mean, I was just asking her how to translate what we said, and I kept saying "I can't believe I said that!". 

Living abroad makes everything a big of a deal, indeed.

A final word! 

Thank you Noura for tolerating me 24/7. And listening when I turn into a "Did you know...?" program, listing random facts with dates and numbers and countries. And thank you for listening to my stories about my weird complicated childhood. Lots of love!

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There's a second part!! Click here to read it.

"Too Young"

As an international university student and a nineteen-year-old girl/ young woman (?) living in the 21st century, I can assure you that this generation's life is really hard. Or at least, harder than you think!

People who grew up in the 70s or 80s can't understand the fact that technology has made our lives (in some aspects) harder rather than faster and better. "You can access information about anything for free in seconds thanks to the internet now! We had to sit in the library for hours to do a research for school!" Yeah sure, but how about, for example, the raise of competitiveness because of the internet. People take online courses now in anything and everything. YouTube tutorials, video-calls with tutors and encyclopaedias, you name it. All of this has made us feel imperfect and not enough. Internet caused other non-technical issues, but old people will never get them so... Let's get to the main point anyway.

Each time I complain about anything, anything, 70s and 80s people go like "You're too young to complain!" and my personal favourite: " What will you do then when you're older, when you'll have actual responsibilities!!?". Well, let me remind you- old people- of something, let me remind you of your own life when you were my age! You lead a pretty simple life, with a normal amount of stress, less competition and more free time. When you were my age, you didn't plan to study or work abroad, which is a hectic procedure: filling forms, writing essays, a lot and a lot of research, planning and too much stress. You were focused on your present with a short vision of the future, unlike me who's planning her entire life right now! When you were my age, you didn't even have a CV! And if you had written it, it would've been pretty empty, you know why? Because the only extracurricular activities you had were for pure pleasure rather than to improve your hiring chances. What a healthy life you lead. I actually slightly envy you. Your life was simpler so please think twice before you accuse us of being lazy or spoiled, because many of our battles came too soon.

I must admit that I'm grateful that I had the chance and means to go to pretty sophisticated schools and do plenty of activities. I'm really thankful that my parents cared about these. But this was truly exhausting for me. Our generation became sleep-deprived too early.