Mother-Daughter Relationships

Some girls have healthy mother-daughter relationships. Others are not quite as lucky. Here are 5 types of complicated mom-daughter relationships, according to my humble opinion with a small amount of research.

1. Too Much Contact

Before you say that I'm overreacting, I've seen young women waiting for their mother's approval, concerning buying their groceries.

I mean, we all like to share our daily events with our mothers, but not in that way. It's unhealthy to call your mama after each and every step you take. "I came home from the supermarket", "I changed and I'll cook now", "Do I put cinnamon on it?" and "Look how it ended up looking!" kind of way. And I swear, I witnessed similar video calls. Yes I said "video".

If you're doing this, then I'm sorry, but you're too dependant on your mother, which will prevent you from growing and learning on your own. Also, it prevents your mother from having fun and learning new things herself! She has a life beyond being a mother, always remember this! And hey, even if your mother is a stay-home mom, you grew up and don't need your diapres to be changed, so leave her alone! She needs a break from you from time to time, really.

Maybe try instead to look for the information yourself instead of asking your mommy. Again, I've been sitting next to a girl who called her mom to ask if Action A is halal or haram. Girrrrl, just google it! Your mother is a human-being, with a degree in a single subject, she doesn't have the answers to everything, and that's okay. Thus, learn to teach yourself. And, grow up. [innocent smile]

2. Wrong Info

Mothers tend, in general, to educate their daughters, stating facts in almost all the fields. But the "back in my days" era was technology-free, which means wrong information circulated more easily than now. In other words, they could've believed in Info A because they heard it on TV for instance, and without a smart-phone to check instantly and only libraries stacked with books to look for Info A at, it was more convenient to believe in Info A. But what if the TV diffused inaccurate information? And then people carried through generations? And I'm talking about all sorts of information.

That's what happens: "No mom, this isn't true, I googled it! They labelled Info A as a myth..."

"No, it's true. I know it. It's a very known-fact."

"Here, look!"

It might look silly and ridiculous to you, but imagine your mother telling you wrong info all the time and you correcting her. She'll go mad, won't she? Hi mama! [smiling and waving] And you, young readers, don't be so hard on them.

3. Fear

"I'm worried about you.", a classic motherly phrase that highlights her instinct towards her little ones. It's great to have someone who worries and cares about you. But if your mother overreacts and forbids you from tons of activities and places, that could be a relationship wrecker. And fun killer for sure!

This could be as a part of #1, Too Much Contact, or it could be a whole new story. Either ways, it puts so much pressure on the girl growing up. She might be too scared to take important steps in her life later on when she has to. The daughter might also lose trust in her mother and seek advice from strangers who aren't trustworthy for sure, but seem more adventurous and fun than her fearful mother.

4. Trust

This lie, that one right here: "I trust you, it's just I don't trust the others." is a blunt insult to your girl. If this isn't a lie, you've got a huge problem, Trust Mother! If you don't trust your own daughter (I can't even process the sentence myself) you should do something about it. I'm unable to even suggest. So you go google it yourself, "young" lady!

If it's not a lie, then you need to talk differently to her, showing her how much she means to you and that you do trust her. Honestly, just don't lie to your kids, and don't yell at me "I'm protecting her!!" because no-one, including you, Missy, likes to be lied at! Keep that in mind..And yeah, keep in mind that a girl needs to be raised by morals that she sees her parent practising too.

5. "Be Home by 8!"

It's a whole different story from #3! This mother is overly strict, for no obvious reasons. She forces rules, without stating any kind of explanation or justification. She treats her daughter(s) as a robot that should follow orders without asking or comprehending.

I'm serious, the girl (might) later on lie to you about where and with whom she's going because you're too strict and stubborn. You, of course, don't want this. Reading a news headline with your daughters picture next to it is no fun, I guarantee.

Dear "Be Home by 8!" Mother, a simple explanation to your kid won't cost you anything, it will even save you the time and effort of yelling at her some extra times because she just doesn't get why Thing B is wrong! Treat you daughter as a grown-up lady with a brain and explain, before ending up with an Oscar-winning liar/actress. 

This article was originally with 10 points, but got split up, so expect a second part soon. [winks]

FAQ

Instead of answering your frequently asked questions, I will share this article with you from now on. This article will be updated frequently. Enjoy!

Living Alone in Paris

I was excited that day, because it was the beginning of spring 2017!

1) Do/can you cook?

Yes, yes, yes! That's the most common question so far. I do cook. Since I don't even have an oven, the meals are not fancy. So don't expect a roasted duck and mashed potatoes or some hard-core traditional food.  My meals are mostly sautéed, grilled and boiled. Keep it simple.

2) What do you eat?

Like I said, mostly healthy meals. For example: grilled salmon, plain pasta and sautéed green beans. I rarely eat junk food but when I do, it's brownies and chips. And I eat meat, see Question 9.

3) How much is your rent?

I swear that's a common question too. The answer is: too much! Too much for a small apartment. It's Paris, that's why. Even though I'm living far from the city center.

4) How long does it take you to go to college?

Less than a 10-minute walk then around 20 minutes in the métro.

5) How much are the college fees?

Less than my rent. Much less. For the whole year, insurance included.

6) Are French people really arrogant and cold?

Most of the people I've met are cold at first whether at college or even in the street, but five minutes later they're super helpful and friendly. And they joke and laugh with you, yeah. Some people must be arrogant the whole time but I've never had to deal with them, fortunately.

7) Do you face any racism or islamophobia?

No and no! The stereotype that France is a racist country is inaccurate. No-one has ever spoken to me in a mean way. No-one insulted me in the street or public transportation. There have been many Arab Muslims living here, for the past 30 years (not sure). French people must've got used to their presence I'm sure.

8) Are the ads 18+?

No not really. I know other European countries have graphic ads, but that's not the case in France.

9) Do you eat meat?

Yes, but only Halal. Halal meat is accessible. I find it in the hypermarket, local butcher shops, it's too easy to find. Even Halal restaurants are so common they're not just open for the Arabic public. In other words, Halal restaurants aren't necessarily oriental, there are many pizza shops and even fast food chains whose non-Muslim customers are sometimes even more than the Muslim ones.

10) Do you get bored while living alone?

"Bored" is not the correct word.

11) Are your parents with you?

No, but my dad accompanied me at first to make sure I settle in.

12) Do you even find Hijab-friendly clothes?

Yes! Even more than in Egypt! Way more. Which is really confusing. I can even wear a hat or an ice cap on my Hijab and won't be considered démodée. It's really cold so elegance isn't my priority, honestly.

13) Is there wine in everything?

Nope. I personally thought they enjoyed wine in bakeries and most dishes but no that's not the case.

14) Do you have a boyfriend?

No, Salma, I don't have a boyfriend. And I never ever bring boys to my place either, Nour.

Nose Piercing

1) Does it hurt?

It hurt me at first. My other two friends who got it the same day as me weren't in pain. So it depends.

2) How do you blow your nose?

Like before the piercing, using a tissue. Just like that.

3) Will it fall?

No. Why are you even concerned if it falls?

4) Did someone comment about it or harassed you in the streets?

No. Not yet?

Earring backs

5) Is there an earring back inside your nose?

No. My piercing looks like this when it's not worn actually. 

6) Why did you get a piercing?

Because I want to and I think it looks good on me.

Stud

7) Does it bleed [if you take the stud off] ?

At first only.