I Grew Up - 20.1

On my birthday, I wrote an article about what I've achieved so far, read it first in case you've missed it, click here! During the few following days, I remembered even more important information and skills I've learnt. So here we go again!

Celebrating my birthday with my paternal family, 2002. I'm the girl in the middle, in case you didn't know.

After receiving a big order
from Amazon

An Egyptian friend would understand the struggle of buying anything online. From the expensive shipping fees, to the different currencies and finally the lack of a credit card to use, I've been there, I did that. There was a time that I asked an older friend to place an order for me because I had no credit card (or even a bank account). But now, ordering online is even a cheaper option! I'm now able to buy used books that are like brand new ones which cost much less than buying them from stores, even considering the shipping from England (because I order English books only). So glad I have my own bank account...! 

Speaking of bank account, I can do money talk now. My parents taught me that talking about money is impolite and wrong, but I grew up to need to discuss money. Sorry mom! Money is important, whether you're applying for a job or have a roommate who shares cleaning products with you! I try not to believe that we live in a pragmatic world, but we kind of do...

My organisation skills grew a little. Every single task even if it was just printing a paper at college is documented in my calendar with several reminders. Important events that I'd never remember on my own such as renewing my residence papers in 22 weeks and that project due after the holidays are documented twice, on my Google Calendar and on my college agenda for maximum organisation. Hundreds of to-do lists were made, even only mental ones. Example: When I Get Home To-Do List: Take a shower, do laundry, cook, revise, do the dishes... That's how I'm trying to get over my goldfish memory and attention deficiency. 

Some adult stuff: original documents. Never hand in original documents. That was a tough lesson to learn. And, always carry a scan of the important documents with me on the phone, it's more than enough in most cases. 

Giving compliments was discussed in the previous article, I'm aware of that. But what I need to add here is that criticizing people instead of giving them compliments says a lot about your self-esteem... Spoiler: you have none! Always give a warm constructive feedback. 

After a long time of reflection at my life events, I came to the conclusion that an abuser was once a victim. And in order to fix the victim, we need to fix the abuser first. Nevertheless, nothing gives a human the right to harm another human. Physically, morally or sexually.

Another conclusion I came to after thinking and reading and researching was that sacrificing too much is harmful. As I said before I decided to put myself first, but being told to make sacrifices for others, when I don't want to, is annoying and insensitive. Also, here's a serious question, why are people who put too much pressure on themselves, neglect their own needs and go too far in sacrifices, so pissed at people who are living their lives healthily and normally? Unfortunately, I've not only met such people, but I still know them...

In this "Me, Myself and I" situation I'm living, with no "adults" to back me up, some people tend to find me an easy target, they talk trash, expecting me to shut up and nod. But hell no, this will never happen! Not here, not in Egypt, not in Mars! If I was right, I'd defend myself in the most polite way possible. I'd write some bullet points with evidence! Witnesses could be called in as well. I'm not the kind of person who accepts such treatment because she's alone or shy to defend herself. If I was wrong, God forbid, I'd acknowledge committing a mistake, ask for forgiveness but then state that I'd prefer a better way of speaking! Adulting...!

If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email, click here. 

I Grew Up - 20.0

Warning: long article! A sequel is highly possible. 

Today, I'm celebrating my 20th birthday. So many mixed feelings. Joy, fear, sadness, pride. Loneliness. Your texts, voice notes, photos and calls made my day, thank you everyone! [virtual hugs and kisses]

So lucky that my phone captures the selfie when it detects the smile! This, of course, isn't a home-made tarte...

Nevertheless, I decided to write what I've learnt and did so far during my long (yes, long) life.

During the last few months, I read much more novels and articles about politics, geography, history and biology because I truly suck at them. And I only read articles because I wouldn't be able to finish a whole book on any of these subjects, to be completely honest with you. It felt amazing having some information to discuss with people. I no longer felt ignorant as I used to feel while people brought up subjects I had no idea about. Some new friends even complimented my knowledge, which even pushed me to read more.

I had the habit of deleting toxic people from my life. This year, I understood the effects these people's mean harsh words had on me. I blocked them from social media and ended our friendships. Because....

I put myself first. I am my first priority. Some people would find this statement a bluntly selfish one, but no. I chose to put my happiness and health on top of my priorities for many reasons. I'm not selfish, but I'm not about the sacrifice life too. I won't harm myself to make anyone happy. I help colleagues, friends and family as much as I can of course, but without throwing myself under the bus to do so. 

I realized that not getting some people's validation used to hurt me, especially if it's a close person, but not any more. I no longer wait for people's approval of my choices and decisions. I do what I believe is right (in reference to religion, of course, and my own morals and rules).

I take care of myself. Even in the simplest ways. I try as much as I can to eat healthily, take care of my imperfect skin, terrible knees, sensitive colon, horrible back, you get my point...! No-one will be there for me when I'm 30 looking 50. Easy daily steps make the difference.

I give more and more compliments. Only genuine ones. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful won't diminish your own intelligence or beauty. Telling someone they're smart or beautiful will not only make them happy but it'll make you happy too. Spread the love! 

Now, let's talk about money! I have my own bank account, which is really cool, even though my father's still financially supporting me. But it feels great to be sort of independent. I keep on trying to save money, I fail nine times out of ten, but that's okay.

On a work level, I have a professional CV now and a good cover letter. I also have a LinkedIn account, which turned out to be really how people get jobs these days. Currently, I have no job, but I'm trying to get one. Pray for me.

I'm not so scared of sending emails (especially to professors at college and CEOs). I used to be so scared of even talking to my teacher at my French school. I once sent a teacher a text by mistake and I started panicking for real. But he was a really cool teacher and he took it lightly. I still, however, proof-read any email at least three times, fearing forgetting a comma or being too friendly. But I always end up pressing the send button and getting a reply shortly after with, some times, "okay"only.

Even though I started my driving classes at the age of 17 and finishing most of the classes, I don't have a driving license. My parents were too conscious about letting me drive, no matter how many times my dad sat next to me and observed my awesome driving skills. (I'm kidding, they were only fine). I've always wanted to drive, for some reason I don't even know. I know that driving in Paris isn't really practical and driving in Egypt is nerve-wrecking, but I need to get it out of my system! One day, one day.

I don't judge. I've met people from everywhere who have different morals and thoughts and lifestyles. I genuinely don't judge them even if what they're doing contradicts my own morals and rules. The differences can't stop us from being acquaintances or even friends! A younger version of me would've stayed away from them, so she won't be influenced by them. But I'm mature enough now.

I finally blog! Which is something I've wanted for so long. In order to not repeat myself, here's Why do I REALLY Blog.

Click here to read the second part, I Grew Up 20.1! 

If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email, click here. 

Why Do I REALLY Blog?

I get asked a lot why I blog, which I find stupid and illogical honestly. It's like asking someone why they post pictures on Instagram, draw comics or read a book...! And since blogging has become an important part of my life for the past months, I think it deserves a final explanation on why I chose it as a hobby.

This article may or may not be updated or edited in the future. Also, sequels may or may not be an option as well.

I've been writing my diaries since I was little. I'm not sure if I've ever shared this before or not, but I've recently found an old diary dating 2006! TWO THOUSAND SIX! Of course, the events documented there are as simple and cute as me obsessing over sea shells I've collected when I was at the beach, but it counts as diary, right? (I mean I still obsess over sea shells and other kids stuff, but back to the initial topic.) I loved documenting my life at this point even if I just ate my favorite chocolate fudge or bought a cute blouse. I loved making these little things last forever.

Me writing in my gang's then-Burn-Book, 2011.

When I grew up and went to middle school ("OMG, I'm finally a teenager!" like), my experiences with people became more complicated. I started writing again, so my diaries would become a future reference, which is really helpful by the way. Reading old ones makes me feel stronger. Makes me motivated to conquer the current issues I have. And as I shared in the So Taylor-Swift-Like article, writing annoying things people did to me helped me figure out their unhealthy patterns and their effects on me.

As I'm currently living abroad, I get asked the same questions many many times, even when I summed them up in another article, dedicated for the  FAQs, it seemed to not  be enough. Even with the constant updates. How's life, college, food, the city and the French themselves. So many questions. My acquaintances need more details and I find it easier to write it once and for all. If anyone asks me a question, I just send him the link to the article explaining in details. You might find it rude, but imagine being asked the same questions a hundred times and being expected to answer with an essay with a limit of 100 words! What is that, a cover letter?

I'm the kind of person who'd go back and read her own old articles and drown in nostalgia, so let me enjoy this. Let me be happy doing what I like and stop judging me or telling me to stop or change the way I do it. Now, don't get me wrong, all pieces of advice are appreciated, but commands aren't. Because I do really love blogging, I've always loved writing. You have no idea how much this small success of my blog means to me.

Have a nice day, fellow human!


If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email, click here. 

Is It Worth it?

Since day one, I started to notice what I've blindly signed up for. Loneliness and leaving friends and family behind seemed to be the problem, but actually, it's deeper than that. It's the feeling of not belonging in either places. I have lived totally different emotions and experiences from people on both sides that I barely belong to the small number of people like me. Egyptians living in Paris. Only these, almost.

I missed out on birthdays, trips, hangouts and more. I'm missing out on new inside jokes and anecdotes. And sometimes even main life updates. "Oh, did I forget to tell you?". No matter how much I try to keep in touch, it's still hard to send my heart there while the rest of me is here, kilometres away.

My dear friends, on the left, eating sushi and me, on the right, added by them!

What's even unnecessary and annoying is being accused of not caring enough to call or text. As if my  sole purpose in life is to answer or text back when anyone from home contacts me. I get you're busy some times and I respect that, so why don't you too? Why making it harder? My life is full of complications, such accusations would be beyond my energy.

All these long-distance relationships, are they really worth it? Or are we denying the fact that it's almost impossible to live that way? Are they really worth it or am I supposed to start fresh or what? Should I leave my memories behind and make new ones here?

If you think they're really worth it, then help me fight for them then...

If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email, click here. 

FIFTY SHADES ROOMMATE-R

Hi, remember us, Samaa and Noura, the roommates? Well, we've got some new craziness to share with you. So buckle your seatbelt and come on board! If you haven't read the first part, click here.

Eating Nutella, banana and almonds crêpe.

1. Telepathy

We reached an advanced point in communication. I told her "Let's get dressed and go! I will bring the thingy to buy the thingy" She replied with a simple okay. I asked if she even got what I was saying, because she was texting and not 100% focused for sure, she actually translated what I said. I was really proud. "Next, telepathy, then!"

2. Sharing has NO END

During the Amy crisis, I shared with her almost the full story. I needed someone to talk to without judging or arguing. But there are also the trivial stories, information and anecdotes that are shared all the time, it's a whole package.

3. Shame on You!

How often do you get an email offering a JOB anyway? It's really rare. I find it impossible. But yet, it happened to Noura.

She got an email offering her a really great job in the UK! After the cheers and screams and high-fives, Noura got serious and "I'm afraid it's a scam!" she muttered.

"What?!"

And then an FBI-like investigation took place. LinkedIn, email adresses, Facebook, the company's website, we missed Twitter though. But we came to a conclusion! It wasn't a scam. Then it was. Then after ten more times, we were sure, it was a scam! If an FBI officer is reading this, we could use some jobs over here, thanks!

Noura is no regular young woman, she didn't just ignore the email. She replied and here's the email to get the image. You go Noura!!

4. Cease the Chance

Every single thing that faces you, is an "unceased" opportunity. That's sort of our motto. The scam incident was a great excuse to contact the company for instance. Asking even friends for some extra help and job/internship hunting. 

5. DJ Sky

Living with someone with the exact opposite taste in music is a true struggle! I adore music, not all the types though. Listening to music most of the time is a part of my soul. But when I'm forced to listen to creepy lame Egyptian songs, I just can't! Humans invented headphones and earphones for a reason, Noura! 
"Give me the DJ task" say I frequently.

"No, not you!"

"Oh really"

Then an emotional wedding song is played. God, help me!

I'm glad that she, at last, listened to me and bought headphones. 

6. Wrong Name

It's a universally-known fact that a girl gets angry when you get her name wrong. I used to call Noura by Salma at first, the name of my ex-roommate. And then I got confused between Nour (a friend, Nour means light in Arabic) and Noura, like ALL THE TIME. Especially when I have one of them on the phone and the other in front of me. "Nour, no, Noura, ugh, Nour!! What do you think about...??"

Adding to the mix, I have a close friend and a cousin both called Nouran. So that's too much light for me, honestly.

7. Nicknames

Now that's a different topic. Noura invented a nickname for me. I didn't like it all and asked to change it. "No I like it!"

"Then I'll invent a disgusting nickname for you and keep calling you by!"

"Fine!"

After two minutes of throwing nicknames at her and getting an approval, "What about Nounou?"

"I like it!"

God, am I the only picky one here, or what?!
Two weeks later, and I still call her Noura.

8. No Getting Over... the Dishes

There are always dishes that need to be done. Either in the sink, on the desk or on the "kitchen" table. Sometimes, someone goes full Katniss Everdeen and volunteers, but sometimes "You will do the dishes today! I did them for us many times!". So I have to zip it and put my gloves on. Yes, I put gloves while doing the dishes, because I have sensitive hands, even though I'm not sensitive myself.

Other cleaning tasks don't seem to bother us much, each does them when she feels like it. No rush, either because they're not as frequently needed as the dishes or because we're racist towards the dishes. Still not sure.

9.  "I'm great"

In an attempt to raise my self-esteem and general mood, I encourage myself after every task with "I'm great". Sounds a bit narcissist, I know, but I'm just too much. And according to the yelling roommate, it's also annoying. Sometimes I'm sweet, I promise, and I tell her and other people that they're great! Especially when she tries something new or just randomly. If I tell you that you're great, it means I love you. 

10. The Help

I must admit Noura pushed me to do many things. Like yelling at the kids who speak out loud during the lectures, I have no idea why are they attending if they don't want to listen. That's another story though. It felt great to shut them up, politely. Praying with a partner was also something really amazing and encouraging.

BONUS Anecdote

One weekend, we were preparing lunch. And since we both wanted pasta along with other foods, we decided to cook it together, normal. My spaghetti was fine, and for some reason Noura's turned out too thick and watery. Maybe it was because of the sauce, still a mystery to this day! She ate some then "No, I just can't, it's too terrible."

"Let me taste it, it can't be this bad." I took a forkful, and then spit it. "But you have to eat this, we can't throw it away. Haram!"

I came with the idea of offering it to a homeless person near our apartment. After adding some spices and heating it in the microwave many times in hope the water lessens a bit, I did. I gave it to a woman, then almost ran. I was afraid she tastes it and insults me or even spit on me! It felt good to help.

But, I've never seen this woman again...Which is scary because I used to see her everyday. "Your spaghetti killed her!! I'm actually worried..."

When we were watching Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs 2, Noura pointed at this and yelled "My spaghetti" !

If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email, click here. 

Click here to read why I blog. Also check the first chapter of my story.

"Home"

This is a story I started writing months ago, but was too scared to publish. If you liked it I will make it a series. Enjoy!

Sarah came back home from work. She must’ve been too exhausted during the flights and transit and running and heavy backpack of hers to even think about what she’s on the verge of doing or what to expect. She didn’t even slightly care to fix her messy hijab or put some ChapStick on her dry lips. She has been on a long journey, that hasn’t even ended yet, no-one was expecting her to look like a daisy.

Sarah’s dark eyes were searching everywhere for her beloved ones when she was exiting the airport gate, pulling her luggage behind her. She found her mother and aunt waiting and when their eyes met, the two sisters screamed of joy and called her name loudly. Hugs, kisses, tears of joy and “how are you?” ’s.

After many consecutive questions in the car, Sarah had the chance to speak, describing the flight, telling few anecdotes and sharing some news. The ladies had almost nothing to share, nothing exciting happens at their small city Damanhur anymore. Or at least that’s what they told her.

A small party was thrown to celebrate her arrival, at the warm family apartment. As usual, proud neighbors and friends were invited. The preparations took too long and too much effort but her aunt, Manal, and mother, Alia, don’t mind it because they love and care about Sarah. Typical motherly instincts. And they, above all, miss her so much they keep reminding each other. Shady, Sarah’s brother, was occasionally complaining about the overreacting, in a “She comes back twice a year anyway” way. Boys.

“Wear the pink dress you have. It’ll look great on you.” said Alia, who came to Sarah’s room to find her staring at the dresser. She might’ve been thinking but her mother wasn’t sure.

“No. I look terrible in it.” snapped Sarah turning her mother’s face blue and eyes evil, hurt or broken, she couldn’t tell. She literally wiped her mother’s smile off.

“Then don’t!” A yelling. Sarah’s years of living away gradually deleted some unhappy memories, similar to this incident. However, each vacation she flies back home, she remembers why she chose to leave in the first place. Besides, of course, improving her career. And getting a degree.

Shady came and asked what was going on and his mother complained about Sarah always being rude and ungrateful. “She’ll never change...I’m sick of this!” Shady was dead sure his mother will cry this day. Sooner or later.

To be fair, Alia became extremely used to sobbing only after The Incident That Shall Not Be Shared. She cries when she remembers. Her general mood stopped her from doing anything and only allowed her to sit and rethink everything. She cries after drinking her last soda can, not in a childish way, but because then she’ll have to go outside and buy another six-pack at least. If there’s an accurate term to describe her addiction, it shall be “sodalic”. Her ‘drinking’ habit was the obvious reason behind her huge weight gain, which nobody dares to mention. You don’t tell a depressed woman she gained weight, right?

Sarah suggested that she goes to seek a professional help many, many, times, but her stubborn mother, with outdated beliefs, strongly refused. Reminding her of what she’s been through wasn’t enough. “This is beyond discussion. I’m not mad to go see a therapist! Are you crazy?!” After many attempts, Sarah got tired of trying and kept her mouth shut about Shady going to one…

As much as this family seems to be amical and ideal, their lies and secrets roam in the apartment as if they could be felt or even seen. Each one of them was ignoring this fact, but deep down they know what they are.

FIFTY SHADES of ROOMMATES

I used to live alone (read Home Alone article) but, as some of you might know, I have a roommate now, Noura (pronounced "Noora" in English though). And as a blogger, who writes about her personal experience most of the time, I couldn't miss the chance of documenting these...

1. Gradual weirdo-ing

At first, each of the parties tries to act as polite and civil as possible. But then, just few days later, we found ourselves having a conversation about a random topic, college or even personal issues while one of us is taking a shower! And the weirdo-ing has no end...

2. The Little Things

I believe that small details matter and simple acts of kindness can change a person's day. Even just sharing a chocolate bar or even doing you roommies dishes. You'll be surprised of how these simple gestures mean a lot!

3. Extra Pair of Hands

Either it's cleaning the apartment or just bringing you something, it's definitely easier than living alone. Especially if you're living with a nice helpful person who doesn't complain if you ask them for something from the fridge while they're there, for example. But don't abuse your mate, it's not nice.

4. Moral Support

I'm talking about "Just attach the CV! What's the worst thing that can happen?" sort of conversations and prep talks. Noura helped me in this area quite a lot in a short period of time, offering advice and encouragements [insert glittery hearts here]. I gave her some advice myself, not life-saving type of advice, but I did my best so...

5. Become Better

I must admit she's the reason I wake up early for college, snoozing once or twice maximum! I'm always afraid I'll wake her up so I get up as fast as I can. (Although I'm pretty noisy while getting ready, but I'm working on it!) I also try as much as I can to not leave any dishes in the sink because it's annoying, I'm sure. Noura, I WILL DO THEM AFTER I PUBLISH THIS, I SWEAR.

6. Deep Talk

You know that kind of conversations, when you discuss ice cream flavour or your childhood ice cream memories? I call that deep. Honestly, you can know a person's personality from their Top 5 Ice Cream Flavours! Well I just made that up. Okay, Google has a different saying. Anyway, my point is, there are always deep talks when you spend a lot of time with someone. Inevitable.

7. Change of Habits

Similar to #5 but not really. When one of the roommies is a loud person, and the other has a loud notification ringtone, some changes need to be done. Some are more important than the others, though. Switching the lights at 11 pm. Turning the heating on 8 instead of, like, 5 or 2. Some are just advice, like "You should use less butter", "Don't eat now, it's 10 pm" and Noura's favourite "Stop cussing!".

8. Real Talk

No matter how hard you'll try to fake it, a roommie will know you didn't have today while meeting this person or something's not right. I share, almost unthinkably, my day's details and how pissed of I am at this professor or that apple that tasted like the worst thing in the universe and made me cringe so bad. The book I'm reading is terrible and "I can honestly write better than this!". And I listen to "I'm so proud of myself I ran 4 km today". This is how I feel less lonely in Paris.

9. Mother Care

Women are generally sensitive and caring because of what science calls "motherhood instinct". So yeah, basically, Noura and I care about each other. Not in a huge way, but as an over-thinker myself, I can see it in the small actions. Like when I fell asleep and she put a blanket on me or when she was sitting with her back bent and I told her to straighten it, etc etc, you get the point. I appreciate these types of small things.

10. Hallucinations

Okay, so this is the creepy part. At least we find it creepy! Some things, very awkward, inexplicable, happened. 

Yesterday, Noura was sleeping in a super uncomfortable position, and as a caring roommie, I tried to roll her over or something. She freaked out when I touched her then yelled "What's wrong!!!?" and I screamed terrified because she was in deep sleep and suddenly she yelled in full consciousness. Like in a horror movie. 

This afternoon, she texted me "Ah, by the way, yesterday you woke me up complaining 'What you're doing, Noura, is unacceptable!!' and I was literally doing nothing". After denying saying such thing and the utter surprise, I came to the conclusion that we should put mics and cameras in the apartment because neither of us succeeded in believing what she's done yesterday! I mean, I was just asking her how to translate what we said, and I kept saying "I can't believe I said that!". 

Living abroad makes everything a big of a deal, indeed.

A final word! 

Thank you Noura for tolerating me 24/7. And listening when I turn into a "Did you know...?" program, listing random facts with dates and numbers and countries. And thank you for listening to my stories about my weird complicated childhood. Lots of love!

If you liked this article, give it a +1 and share it with your friends! Follow me on +Google for more!! You can also be notified by email. 

There's a second part!! Click here to read it.