13 Methods How

As a human with a suicidal girl in my life, Amy, I feel personally affected by the whole subject of self-harm and suicide. I want to help, even though I'm not sure I can. I want to understand so I avoid saying wrong useless clichés like "You should just stop thinking about it." I'm unable to fully process the issue, but I try to listen and let her just complain, yell or cry. 

A Remarkable Scene in the Show.

Have you heard about 13 Reasons Why? (Bonus question: did you watch it?).  In case you haven't let me introduce it with no spoilers. It's a series telling the story of a girl who's committed suicide and left tapes for the people responsible. Some of the people who hurt her had no clue they even did. Or, to be precise, didn't imagine it being that serious anyway. But the end result was some of them denying and others feeling guilty after they listened to the tapes. The series became so famous, leaving the viewers rethinking their smallest actions and their effect on others' lives.

Few days ago, I shared this article on Facebook, really well-expressed, check it out. What was rewarding was the fact that a friend of a friend encouraged his colleagues to hangout with a lonely girl at college because of this article. He didn't just read the article and move on with his life, he took a huge step. Did he change her life? I hope so.

So what's my article trying to teach you? I'm sure you're feeling lost and confused by now, but bear with me. 

In a time where teenagers and young adults have more on their minds than you could imagine, we can't shut our eyes to the amount of stress they already have because of education and activities (at least). Their depression and sadness can't be ignored. They shouldn't be treated as punching bags for older people to get rid of their own anger and hurt. They should be taken seriously when they complain or show pain. There's nothing such as "You're too young to be depressed" or "What did you face in your life that was so painful, anyway?".

As for the fellow adults you come across everyday, be kind to them as much as you can. Give warm compliments randomly, maybe your compliment make their day. Maybe they'd feel better about themselves because of you. Tell them you love them. Appreciate their work. Life's too short to stay mad at people for long.

Your words and actions can hurt others without you even noticing, because people are different. And, if you intentionally hurt others, you deep down know it, even if you keep denying it. It's never too late to make it right, unless the victim attempts suicide, then yes it is late. 

So instead of regretting bullying or abusing a person who chose to take their own life, I advice you to step forward and do the right thing while you still can. Suicide, in my humble opinion, can be avoided if people stopped being mean and inconsiderate. I'm not going to say "Suicide is a permanent decision for temporary problems" and all the other good stuff, because it's more effective to stop people from pushing the victims to end their lives in the first place.

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Ashamed or Guilty

Disclaimer: the following article provides my own personal views that might be different than yours so it’s okay.

When I was at school, my actual third one, but first real one, kids were a little bit different. And what I’m going to say next might seem a bit impolite, but most of them were less privileged, I’m sorry I had to. But now I will clarify why I've mentioned it.

You see, my mother was kind of obsessed with travelling, she dragged our little four-member family to a bunch of countries during my childhood. Months before travelling, she dedicated her time to plan each trip. Her love of travelling was, I must admit, contagious too. But that’s another story, back to our main topic.

So, being a kid who’s travelled many countries outside her own put me in a minority category. A minority that experienced different things and not just travelling, but obviously other stuff too. I bet you get the picture now thus any further examples would be plain bragging.

Why did I mention this? Because believe it or not, this kind of lifestyle made me feel a little bit guilty. Guilty that I’m privileged. My life was a little bit less hard. I've tried better activities, seen better sceneries. It was hard to share summer vacation stories without sounding (at least) a little bit arrogant. I felt odd.

But when I changed schools, and went to an “international” school, the situation was reversed. Everyone in the new school has travelled abroad at least once. People had a more luxurious lifestyle than in my old school in general. If you have read my Friendship article, then you know in which school I actually made friends. But anyway. I no longer felt privileged, I felt average. Which was good. Until…

Later in high school, all what mattered to me and my colleagues was applying to college. The head of department once did a sort of presentation about this, she said that, every year, a third of each class goes to Egyptian public universities, a third to private ones and the rest studies abroad. And obviously the private ones are much more expensive.

A colleague of mine set his goal to study at a certain private uni, and since I was older and wiser then, I honestly said “I wish I could go there, but there are no longer scholarships and my dad can’t afford to pay my tuition fees”. As simple as that, with full confidence. I must say I’m proud of myself for reaching this point of self-acceptance. There’s nothing wrong with being unable to spend more money than affordable. There’s nothing wrong in admitting it in public. It’s wrong to lie and say things like “No I don’t like to go there, not good enough for me” while you, in reality, can’t afford it. How much you make doesn't equate your worth.

The moral is, you shouldn't be ashamed of being less privileged than others. Nor bitter. They may lead lives that sound fun and expensive, but believe me they have their own problems too. And if you feel guilty for being privileged that’s wrong to you, because that’s not your fault you were born in a richer family. Everyone deserves inner-peace.

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