13 Methods How

As a human with a suicidal girl in my life, Amy, I feel personally affected by the whole subject of self-harm and suicide. I want to help, even though I'm not sure I can. I want to understand so I avoid saying wrong useless clichés like "You should just stop thinking about it." I'm unable to fully process the issue, but I try to listen and let her just complain, yell or cry. 

A Remarkable Scene in the Show.

Have you heard about 13 Reasons Why? (Bonus question: did you watch it?).  In case you haven't let me introduce it with no spoilers. It's a series telling the story of a girl who's committed suicide and left tapes for the people responsible. Some of the people who hurt her had no clue they even did. Or, to be precise, didn't imagine it being that serious anyway. But the end result was some of them denying and others feeling guilty after they listened to the tapes. The series became so famous, leaving the viewers rethinking their smallest actions and their effect on others' lives.

Few days ago, I shared this article on Facebook, really well-expressed, check it out. What was rewarding was the fact that a friend of a friend encouraged his colleagues to hangout with a lonely girl at college because of this article. He didn't just read the article and move on with his life, he took a huge step. Did he change her life? I hope so.

So what's my article trying to teach you? I'm sure you're feeling lost and confused by now, but bear with me. 

In a time where teenagers and young adults have more on their minds than you could imagine, we can't shut our eyes to the amount of stress they already have because of education and activities (at least). Their depression and sadness can't be ignored. They shouldn't be treated as punching bags for older people to get rid of their own anger and hurt. They should be taken seriously when they complain or show pain. There's nothing such as "You're too young to be depressed" or "What did you face in your life that was so painful, anyway?".

As for the fellow adults you come across everyday, be kind to them as much as you can. Give warm compliments randomly, maybe your compliment make their day. Maybe they'd feel better about themselves because of you. Tell them you love them. Appreciate their work. Life's too short to stay mad at people for long.

Your words and actions can hurt others without you even noticing, because people are different. And, if you intentionally hurt others, you deep down know it, even if you keep denying it. It's never too late to make it right, unless the victim attempts suicide, then yes it is late. 

So instead of regretting bullying or abusing a person who chose to take their own life, I advice you to step forward and do the right thing while you still can. Suicide, in my humble opinion, can be avoided if people stopped being mean and inconsiderate. I'm not going to say "Suicide is a permanent decision for temporary problems" and all the other good stuff, because it's more effective to stop people from pushing the victims to end their lives in the first place.

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I Grew Up - 20.1

On my birthday, I wrote an article about what I've achieved so far, read it first in case you've missed it, click here! During the few following days, I remembered even more important information and skills I've learnt. So here we go again!

Celebrating my birthday with my paternal family, 2002. I'm the girl in the middle, in case you didn't know.

After receiving a big order
from Amazon

An Egyptian friend would understand the struggle of buying anything online. From the expensive shipping fees, to the different currencies and finally the lack of a credit card to use, I've been there, I did that. There was a time that I asked an older friend to place an order for me because I had no credit card (or even a bank account). But now, ordering online is even a cheaper option! I'm now able to buy used books that are like brand new ones which cost much less than buying them from stores, even considering the shipping from England (because I order English books only). So glad I have my own bank account...! 

Speaking of bank account, I can do money talk now. My parents taught me that talking about money is impolite and wrong, but I grew up to need to discuss money. Sorry mom! Money is important, whether you're applying for a job or have a roommate who shares cleaning products with you! I try not to believe that we live in a pragmatic world, but we kind of do...

My organisation skills grew a little. Every single task even if it was just printing a paper at college is documented in my calendar with several reminders. Important events that I'd never remember on my own such as renewing my residence papers in 22 weeks and that project due after the holidays are documented twice, on my Google Calendar and on my college agenda for maximum organisation. Hundreds of to-do lists were made, even only mental ones. Example: When I Get Home To-Do List: Take a shower, do laundry, cook, revise, do the dishes... That's how I'm trying to get over my goldfish memory and attention deficiency. 

Some adult stuff: original documents. Never hand in original documents. That was a tough lesson to learn. And, always carry a scan of the important documents with me on the phone, it's more than enough in most cases. 

Giving compliments was discussed in the previous article, I'm aware of that. But what I need to add here is that criticizing people instead of giving them compliments says a lot about your self-esteem... Spoiler: you have none! Always give a warm constructive feedback. 

After a long time of reflection at my life events, I came to the conclusion that an abuser was once a victim. And in order to fix the victim, we need to fix the abuser first. Nevertheless, nothing gives a human the right to harm another human. Physically, morally or sexually.

Another conclusion I came to after thinking and reading and researching was that sacrificing too much is harmful. As I said before I decided to put myself first, but being told to make sacrifices for others, when I don't want to, is annoying and insensitive. Also, here's a serious question, why are people who put too much pressure on themselves, neglect their own needs and go too far in sacrifices, so pissed at people who are living their lives healthily and normally? Unfortunately, I've not only met such people, but I still know them...

In this "Me, Myself and I" situation I'm living, with no "adults" to back me up, some people tend to find me an easy target, they talk trash, expecting me to shut up and nod. But hell no, this will never happen! Not here, not in Egypt, not in Mars! If I was right, I'd defend myself in the most polite way possible. I'd write some bullet points with evidence! Witnesses could be called in as well. I'm not the kind of person who accepts such treatment because she's alone or shy to defend herself. If I was wrong, God forbid, I'd acknowledge committing a mistake, ask for forgiveness but then state that I'd prefer a better way of speaking! Adulting...!

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