More Personalities

As you've probably read in the My Personalities article, I have multiple ones, but what I haven't told you yet is that for each language I have a different personality too. So here we go!

Arabic Samaa:

She's a very, very loud chatterbox and not even ashamed of it. She knows it's in her blood. 

She makes almost no spelling or grammatical mistakes and enjoys correcting others. (Even though she's working hard to stop this). Scrolling the Facebook feed gives a headache because of the amount of unforgivable mistakes she sees. Also, "franco" language is too ugly hurts her eyes. If someone sends her a long text in "franco", she has to read it multiple times to be able to process the content. 

Arabic Samaa loves controversial topics when she exchanges views with open-minded people who wouldn't yell at her for being different. She rarely discusses politics. She has an opinion about everything but she keeps it to herself unless asked.

French Samaa:

She has the sexiest voice of them all, since she uses a completely different pitch, and of course because it's French, duh! 

Living in Paris taught her how to be cold and assertive when needed. For example when dealing with a rude shopkeeper who refuses to do a little more help. Or when she stands up for herself against a false claim.

She minds her own business and would rarely chat with strangers. The most practical and serious one of them all.

English Samaa:

Friendly, chatterbox and loud. She enjoys having conversations about anything and everything: from politics to TV shows. 

English Samaa is braver than the others in general. She makes friends easily and has small talk with the shopkeepers, other travellers and basically anyone. She's not afraid to try new things, asks for directions even though she hates it so much and couchsurfing! 

She reads the most of them all because she trusts English articles more and because she doesn't want to fade away.

German Samaa:

There's a chance she'll disappear because apparently she's not needed that much. She's so shy and quiet and not confident at all. She's aware of her mistakes and has no problem being corrected. (Even though it hurts her pride a little). The German aggressiveness hasn't had any effect on her, yet.

The Hybrid:

The rarest personality. She's so confused and tense, appears in situations such as: 

In Paris, with a non-French speaker friend, ordering food. Then she proceeds to ask her friend "What sauce do you want?" in Arabic, leaving the friend perplexed. She then repeats the question in French, no response, and then finally reaches English. All of this is followed by a headache because Samaa's brain can't handle this confusion.

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Starting Over.

An anonymous contribution.

Credit: minhamakeglamour.com

Ending a relationship is hard on so many levels. One of the hardest parts for me is the notion of starting all over with someone new. It's scary.

It's scary that after investing in a friendship and then a relationship, I have to throw all of that away. It's what Coldplay described as "When you love someone and it goes to waste". All of this effort becomes...nothing. A void. Zero.

After exposing my deepest fears, saddest memories, issues and small details, I have to re-do all of that again. And of course, what I've told before day by day, would be said now in a sentence. A sentence that might include the most important parts of what happened, but would never show the emotions I've lived. "I had many issues" would replace months or even years of agony. Where my then-lover was a shoulder to cry on, listener and problem solver. Where he was the bright side of my shattered life. The highlight of my gloomy days.

All the inside jokes, catch phrases and common interests are meaningless now. I hate it when I accidentally use them with someone else, because I know only him could understand.

It needs a lot of energy. A new will to commit and communicate. And a bunch of other things. Because my walls have been broken down by my ex-lover but were doubled up once he broke my heart.

Is it even possible to trust someone again and expose myself this much? Was I even wrong to do it before? 

But I know that eventually, I'll move on. Because I've done it before.

Also, click here for a related article.

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Advice.

Advice. We've all given and received them at some point of our life. Whether it's good or bad advice. [I'm literally smirking as I write this]

2016 - A photo taken by an anonymous person, if you took it please come forward.
I have no idea what's the context of this photos as well, apart from working on the ROV report, but I felt like it suited the article, so here you go!

Have you ever faced a situation where you felt the urge and need to give advice? Like, for instance, when your friend's complaining about their job, family or partner? Well, don't. Just don't give advice unless you've been asked to. I personally find it really annoying when I get interrupted in the middle of telling an awful experience or problem. And I'm sure many people feel the same way too. A voice in my head screams during such situations something that goes along the lines of: "Stop.", "Just let me rant." and "I just want to get all my emotions and tension out. That's all, I promise." So what should you do instead? I promise you that simply listening is what we want. I p r o m i s e. If we want more, we'll ask. A very helpful thing to do as well is asking your ranter about their feelings and just let them let it all out! "How do you feel about this?" is a magic spell.

Besides this, I do love giving tips and advice. I would be lying if I said I've never given unasked-for advice. I'm sure I've done it, but I won't again. But really, I love advising people. Especially when it's something I'm good at or knowledgeable of. An example of topics I excelled in advising in is studying abroad. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not full of myself, but I've spent all four years of high school searching and asking about colleges abroad that I roughly know the best spot for most of the needs. So when a younger friend asks me about French colleges I feel great when I help them. It feels like donating a part of your brain, if that's not too weird. 

Some times I've been given bad advice. And when I say "bad" I mean unsuitable. If you know me, you'd know that I expect all good intentions from people. So it's not a question of someone trying to hurt me or be better than me, no. It's a matter of giving me advice that worked for them or their friends but won't work for me. Like, for example, if I rant about being short on money and a friend advises me to stop buying mineral water because the tap water is just fine, this won't work for me. I'd be the only homeless drinking mineral water in the world, because I just can't. And yes, water has a taste. And each brand tastes completely different. I swear you could blindfold me and  I'd identify them. But that's not the point of the article, I'll write another one about my tasting sense. Back to the advice.

Other times, I was almost forced to follow the advice. I mean, I get it, this specific piece of advice has changed your entire life, but it still won't work for me, so why insist? Also, why do people feel offended when I don't follow their advice? (Whether I asked for it or not ) I mean I haven't asked for your advice, then you should know why by now. And if I asked you for it but didn't follow it, I swear by God that I've never meant to disrespect you. It's just that I probably asked many people in order to collect ideas and opinions before analysing and deciding. But your opinion and advice still matter to me! And I still love you, yes! And you should understand that if I do ask you for advice, this means you mean a lot to me. Even if I don't follow it. Yes. 

If you liked or related to this article somehow, give it a thumbs up and don't be so shy to leave a comment, I won't bite, I swear! 

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Don't Let Me Down

Being let down sucks. I guess many of my beloved readers could relate to that. But here's my own experience.

Hanging down - 2012

I don't put high hopes and expectations unless I believe in the person. Either out of love, trust or a long history. But most likely, love.

So when I'm let down, it physically hurts me. Beyond imagination . It breaks my heart. I become so angry and could even scream.

I'm usually strong, but when it comes to someone I've deeply loved and trusted, the disappointment and betrayal weaken me.

It takes me some time to fix the broken pieces and be able to stand up again. And of course I lean on other beloved ones to go back to the field and resume the fight.

I don't automatically stop trusting people afterwards. Because everyone is different and it'd be unfair to distrust everyone because of a person, wouldn't it ?

Forgiveness? Yes. I've recently discovered that I don't hold grudges, but only if they come back regretting what they've done. Apologizing isn't even remotely enough for me. I need to feel the remorse and regret. To see, later on, some effort, and eventually, some changes. "Sorry" won't fix anything.

If the regret was followed by another disappointment, it's almost impossible to win me back.

Don't let me down.

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Signs of a Real Friendship

Friendship is not about how much time you spend together or how much you laugh. Those parts could easily be fulfilled since no-one would walk away from you in your best days. Depending on my humble experience in life, almost 21 years, the following are some signs of a real friendship.

Real friends are there for you "when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year". They offer you all possible kinds of support. They'd do anything to cheer you up, joking, making funny faces, tickling you, silly dancing, you name it. They'll try their best to help you in your issues. If they can't give you solutions to your problems they'll try to ease the pain at least. Having someone to rant to is so rare.

You don't feel ashamed being vulnerable in front of them. No matter how tough or strong you are, you expose your sensitive side to them. If you're like me, a rare crier, you don't feel weak if you cried in front of your close friends. You wouldn't hesitate much. They help you glue your broken parts, with no judgement or underestimation. Your feelings and emotions are valid to them.

You know your friendship is real when you don't think too much before talking with them. They'd never judge your unpopular opinions and views. They'd never broadcast your latest news.

No need for straightforward words when your friends can read your facial expressions like an open book. No matter how hard you're trying to act normal, they'll know you're down. They'll respect your privacy if you're a secretive person or bomb you with questions if you're not. Which is because..

They know what you want and need. Advice? Hugs? A shoulder to cry on? Support? They know it all, and if they don't they'll try their best.

Trust is of course a sign of a true friendship. It's not just for keeping the secrets but it's also trusting that they've got your back. They'll defend you behind your back.

Real friends don't comfort  you with a lie. Instead they tell you straight to your face that you're wrong or you need to improve. For example, when you ask a real friend "What am I doing wrong? Why is my life falling apart" her reply would be something like "Because you don't sleep enough. You need to work out. Stop keeping toxic people around..." This is because true friends want to grow as a person professionally, intellectually and emotionally. Even if they know their reply could upset you now, but they know you'll thank them later.

Don't you some times feel weak? Like, you need support making a call or sending an important email. Well, real ones would be there for you as well. Real ones would write your super important email with you sitting next to them anxiously. Real ones would help you write your CV or look for scholarships when you're too lazy or down to do it yourself. Real friends are basically and unconditionally extra arms and brains. I don't want to brag or anything, but I booked a doctor's appointment for my friend the other day, yeah.

Some of my real friends have a superpower. Yeah, I know, right? When I'm secretly sad, I find them calling, sending me old photos of us and/or memes, randomly complimenting me and checking up on me. "I have the feeling you're not okay." And needless to say, lying to them is useless because they end up knowing.

Another superpower some have is understanding when to give me advice and when to just listen. I wrote a whole article about advice, click here to check it out!

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