Cutting Ties

 I have cut ties with so many people in the last few years, for various reasons. I regret nothing.

After failing at setting boundaries and failing to limit interactions with them, I resorted to ending some relationships. This is because I decided that I no longer have to tolerate toxic relationships just because they were with people I've known for so long.

I cut ties for either one or both of the following reasons:

First, I don't have to tolerate disrespect and mockery disguised as "jokes". I don't have to tolerate casual sexist and misogynistic jokes and remarks either. I'm sick of being told I'm not "fun" because I don't laugh and engage with them anymore. I'm sick of expressing my feelings and seeing them dismiss them. This is mean, degrading and hurtful. 

And no, I'm not educating anyone anymore. I have tried, I did. I did because I cherished those relationships and thought that I could help these people see the bigger picture and understand where I was coming from. It didn't work out. And believe me, I'm done educating grown-ass adults. 

The internet is free, you can read tons of books, listen to podcasts or even watch YouTube videos. You can join different groups online and talk to different people. If you want to learn you can and you will. But I guess for some people it's way easier to be ignorant and hurtful. It's fine because everyone is free to choose their path. It's also fine, because I don't associate myself with them anymore. 

The second reason, I cut ties when I found myself the only one trying to maintain the relationship. I actually "tested" a former friend of mine: I stopped texting them at all to see if they'd reach out or not. They didn't for months. And I knew that they talked and met with other common friends of ours, so they could've talked to me too. But they chose not to. Our friendship was dying anyway, so I decided that it was enough. And I removed them from all my social media platforms. Just like that. 

My dad always tells me : "Relationships are like ping-pong. You can't be the only one throwing a ball. Both parties have to throw to have a game." Those are words I go by in life and they never missed. 

If you don't put effort, then bye.

How long you've known someone doesn't give you a pass to mistreat them. It doesn't mean you could keep on treating them the same way even though they complained about it.

Anyway, take care of yourself and you loved ones! And don't let anyone mistreat you.

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