Foreign Languages!

Hey! I've recently noticed that I publish almost once a month, even after I promised to write more, but life got in the way. 

I've been reflecting on my linguistic skills recently. Especially the French and English ones. I mean, I've considered improving my Arabic as well, since the Arabic I speak and write isn't enough. Bref. Today's article is about foreign languages.

2014, in Russia

I know it's ironic that my blog is in English, when it's not my mother-tongue, discussing foreign languages. And I could improve my Arabic by writing here, but no, I'm too afraid to try. Maybe one day..

Have you ever spoken in your second (or third language) and got compliments on how well you speak? "Oh you speak so well! I didn't even notice your accent! Where did you learn English?" And like my good friend Gina said, "I want it to be flawless as if it's my first language, with no accent." And that is some insane amount of pressure we put on ourselves really.

I mean, we've spent at least a decade learning this language, and guess what, learning in that language. 

There is a wide range of terminology that I solely know in French and/or English, because I learnt sciences and math in them. It's a sad and shameful feeling when you get used to certain words in a foreign language, to the point of despising them in your native language. "Oh it's called like that in Arabic? So gross! It's better in English." (and yes I've heard that)

But it still isn't ours and there's a limit of fluency you could reach without giving up your mother tongue. And yes, I've read that you could forget your own language if you took up a new one and (gradually) neglected it. So take care of your native language, folks!

The truth is, I love Arabic, I adore it, okay? But I try as much as I can to improve my other languages due to living abroad, which includes: studying in a foreign language, attending classes in a foreign language, everyday-life conversations and news in a foreign language, reading everything and anything in a foreign language.

It's so exhausting. Sometimes after a long day of speaking French, I get a headache and start forgetting words, freezing and saying nonsense. What is even worse is that, when I go back home, attempt to speak Arabic with Mahy, then fail to make up a whole meaningful sentence...?? At this point I 1. feel stupid and 2. becoming bye-lingual.

And what's really ironic is that I'm the only one who thinks my French and English are not good enough. I remember one time I was calling Shaimaa (my American friend) and in the middle of the call I froze and said "Oh my God, it's been a while since I last spoke in English, it's a little rusty, I'm sorry. It'll get better in a  minute." And she hasn't even noticed any issue. I have linguistic insecurity when it comes to anything other than Arabic. That's it, I admit it!

What I've noticed is, people (and especially monolinguals) don't really care if you make mistakes, have an accent or forget words. From my experience, they are understanding and listen attentively, waiting for me to remember the word I want to say. Or listen to me, explaining the word I'm looking for. And during this whole process, I'm the only one who seems to be irritated by my not-so-perfect language. 

However, there are three daily struggles that I face. 1. My humour doesn't usually translate well. I mean, half of the time the joke is fine in the other language, the other half there's an awkward silence. Shame, shame. 2. Idioms are usually monolingual. When I translate them from Arabic, it creates a weird expression. A friend of mine, Marguerite, usually gets it and says it's enjoyable, since her dad does the same thing and she's used to it. 3. Suddenly discovering that I don't know a certain word in French that I immediately need. Of course, Google Translate helps a lot in such situations, but this luxury's not usually available though. 

There's only ONE rude person who commented negatively on my accent saying she couldn't understand me. The joke's on her, since everyone understands me. Being racist is sad..

Anyway, I'm glad I'm back to writing, and I hope you enjoyed my article (and maybe related to it too). 

See you soon, I hope!