Hanger.

In case you're not familiar with the term, hanger = (hunger + anger).

Me and the love of my life.

It's no secret that when I get extremely hungry, I go insane or something. Once Mahy, Dana and I were out and I said I was hungry. Mahi was like "Oh do you see how she acts when she gets hungry?!" And Dana glared and said "Oh my God, yes!". I thought my hanger wasn't an old trait, but apparently not. But the fact that an old friend talks like that with a new one is just frustrating. 

I mean, when my hanger episode ends, and I look back at what I've said and did, I thank the burger I'm holding in my hand for saving humanity from my temporary stupidity.

The thing is, I have levels of hunger. I would've loved to make a diagram for you but I don't have much time. I love diagrams by the way. My hunger rises gradually from "It'd be good if I could eat now and if I don't it's fine too" to "My stomach is torturing me and I need FOOD NOW ARRHHH" (I don't know if screaming is written in English that way but mine is mostly عااااااا in Arabic).

I mean, for example, if I'm waiting in a line (I hate waiting in lines) on a regular day, I'd be pissed but it's fine. If I'm hangry, then there's a chance I'll yell at the next person that coughs next to me. I'm joking. Or not, I don't remember much what happens when I'm hangry. 

Some times, things pile up: college stress, bills, a stupid fight with a friend, Salma or Alaa, it's winter, the bakery has no more chocolate cakes and I broke my nail. All of this is really manageable for me on regular days. It takes some basic thinking, planing and communication to solve them. But when I'm hangry, my hidden drama queen side rises. 

"How dare them not have chocolate cake? I do not care if it's late and they were closing but why??", 

"My nail is broken again, I will look terrible after cutting it. Will it grow again?" and

 "I'm not wrong, you ARE"..

Rozza suggested that I'd take deep breaths when I'm hangry to calm down and think rationally. I will try that. But for now, dearly beloved, just feed me! And thank you for tolerating me when I'm hungry. You're amazing.

Does anyone have any funny (or crazy..?!)  hanger stories?

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#10YearChallenge

We all came across the #10YearChallenge, whether we participated, liked others' pictures or just scrolled down past them.

 2009 vs 2019

I shamelessly posted my picture, after scrolling through the very old part of my Facebook to find it, the part I made "only me" to prevent certain friends from reaching. And they know who they are. And how they used to laugh at silly old photos. 

An article appeared somewhere stating that Facebook started this challenge to collect data on how faces change over time. First of all, I'm not surprised at all if that's the case. Secondly, who cares? The people who participated in the challenge are the same people who share so many information through social media. Whether they do so through the posts or through the messages, their private information is there, somewhere, in a server belonging to Mark Zuckerberg. 

But I'm not here to talk about this. I'm here to talk about why everyone focused on how their appearance changed and not what they've achieved between 2009 and now. Who cares if you had a unibrow in 2009 and now you know how to use tweezers? Let's talk about achievements and real development.

I'll go first. In 2009, I was in my preteen, and now I'm obviously in my early twenties.

I had no idea what I wanted from life. All I cared about was fashion and Hannah Montana. Okay maybe not to that extent, but I was not sure of what I wanted from life anyway.

During those ten years, I developed so much better than I expected and imagined. I read so many articles on so many topics that I can't even remember, watched documentaries on also so many topics, traveled solo to three countries (minus Egypt of course), tried "exotic" food, traveled many times with my friends and family, made friends around the world, learned programming and electronics, drastically improved my English, and French, and even Arabic, learned German and Spanish, read a bunch of novels and took care of my mental health on my own (or almost).

During those ten years, I made so many different plans for my life. I had the courage to scratch them and make new ones. I wanted to become a pharmacist when I was at my pre-teenage. During high school years, I was in search of my passion. I had a phase where I decided to completely focus on myself and career, no kids and probably no marriage too. I had another where I'd give up everything too, but this time to become a vlogger and travel the world. I was not sure of what I wanted. Now what I want in the future is to make a balance between a career, having a family and having fun! It's going to be complicated and exhausting, but it'll be worth it.

During those ten years, my views on relationships shifted quite often too. At a young age, I was looking for love, I wanted to be in love. I had a teenage short failed experience, also insignificant. Then I gradually stopped considering it. I thought I could never find what I wanted, and deserved. Then I had a mini-experience, also insignificant. Afterwards, I believed again that I could never find what I wanted at least before the age of 27. I totally gave up. And then Alaa came to my life from nowhere. I fell in love headfirst. And now I know why nothing else made sense.

I'm so thankful to everyone I had in my journey, every single person had an impact a way or another. I'm so proud of myself. And in the words of Jessie J: "I'm still working on my masterpiece".

"Nice Guys"

Happy new year! I hope you have a wonderful year full of blessings and achievements. In 2019, I promise you I'll try to publish more. I have other new year's resolutions that I might share with you.

Like a lot of women, I was attacked before because I turned down a "nice guy". And I find it really annoying that women are criticized in general for doing so.

A nice guy. But not only.

I mean the idea of "women turn down nice guys but end up with abusive/ bad ones" is popular to an extent. Or at least, people show a disapproval when a woman turns down a nice guy. 

But what is a "nice guy" anyway? Respectful? A guy who cares about a girl? A loyal guy? A decent guy? 

According to Mahi: "A nice guy is never enough. If I meet a guy and describe him as "nice but..", he's not for me, and that's it."

Are we supposed to date those guys simply for showing us basic human manners? Why are we expected to be with someone just for being nice? That's so degrading. It's like you're saying "Be grateful he's not a terrible, abusive man". Women deserve to have standards and requirements, because we have different tastes and different needs.

I met so many "nice" guys whom I couldn't stand being with them in the same postal code for long! 

I'm not trying to bash anyone, but hear me out.

As a young woman, it's not enough for me to meet a "nice" guy to be attracted to him and then boom date him! It does not work like that. In short, I have a type, some standards and requirements. Maybe a younger version of me would've accepted a nice guy, but not now-me.

I've met nice guys who were so different from me, who had different interests and goals in life. Others were really not attractive to me. Of course the physique is not the most important aspect of a person but still. Other guys had a bad/ different sense of humor. And the list goes on.

Why are women expected to accept the bare minimum in a relationship? We deserve to have standards and aspire for a healthy and happy relationship, not just a relationship. Or a mediocre, boring one.

Not to mention that, women are expected to want to get married as if it's mandatory, but that's for another article.


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