ADHD diagnosis...not quite surprised!

Hello dear readers! 

Did you miss me? 

I come bearing news, that I can't even qualify as good or as bad. 

Credit: Getty

Last month I was diagnosed with mild ADHD. My psychiatrist ran long, various and exhausting tests. It was a journey, I have to say!

For years, I was not sure if being easily distracted was because of my undiagnosed ADHD or because I was lazy or unable to commit to anything. 

When I was undiagnosed and unaware, which the majority of my life, I was living in the dark. This was how life was like, hard with daily mental obstacles. And I accepted it not knowing it could've been easier and swifter. Then... six years ago, a therapist brought up that I might have ADHD. Eye-opening experience. Then a fellow therapist of his asked me a bunch of questions and she concluded a premature diagnosis that I don't have ADHD. 

This experience left me confused. Few year later, I visited another therapist (for another reason), but when it came to ADHD, he asked me a bunch of questions (again) and concluded that I have "selective attention". Given that this therapist ended up not being that great, this diagnoses meant nothing. 

Misdiagnosis was even worse than the lack of diagnosis. Because I felt something was off, but a trained professional told me basically that I was wrong. So, officially I had no explanation or excuse why my brain was like that, you know? 

But then, finally it all made sense, thank God.

It took my last psychiatrist several sessions to finally to come with the conclusion that I am an ADHDer. A first session to take a general history, then several long (often 4-hour long sessions) with different tests that had to do with short term and long term memory, shapes and colors, math, among other cognitive fields. According to my psychiatrist, this didn't cover all possible cognitive areas. Joke's on my ex-therapists, ha!

When I was undiagnosed and misdiagnosed, I spent those years trying to be better, trying to concentrate more, doing some exercises. Trying to not miss any event or deadline by writing everything in my Google calendar (not a paid ad, but I wish it were). And lots of other measures taken.

My psychiatrist told me these efforts and exercises have been paying off, this is why I have much less to cope with and accommodate to. 

Being undiagnosed then misdiagnosed is definitely a tiring experience, filled with self-doubt, loss and... shame. 

I don't think my life would ever be "normal", but I'm getting so much better already and... I have faith!