Living with Chronic Illnesses

Hello! I hope you're well and staying home! Today I'm sharing a bit of a personal area of my life.

As a lot of my peers, I'm young but my body feels a lot older.

I'm 23 now,  but I have more health issues than my baby boomer* parents. Combined. No joke.

When I was in grade 10, so about 17 years old, I started having knee problems. Climbing stairs for me is such an exhausting mandatory activity. I have to lean on the handrail, and I climb it really slowly. I really have to get this checked. But to my defense, it runs in my paternal family and I know that it's not curable anyway. But, sure, I'll go check it.

Two years later, I was so angry at someone who was really provoking and annoying me. Few hours later, I had killing pain that I failed to identify, I was in so much agony. Next morning the pain was much worse, I was screaming. After running some tests, I found out that I have IBS. Which means, any time I'm stressed and/or angry, I have really bad pain. It's close to period pain, if I could compare to anything else. When I'm on my period, my colon pain gets sooooo much worse. Medications really do nothing, so I have to quit certain foods and keep my cool to contain my pain. This didn't work much, till I was recently diagnosed with lactose intolerance. Now, I can control my symptoms much more and my life became easier, thank God.

When I was in high school, too, because apparently all my issues started then, I was working out in the gym, when suddenly my back cracked in a wrong way. Since then it started hurting. I went to several doctors in vain. And my condition got worse gradually. I recently visited a doctor and was diagnosed with mild Scoliosis (curvature of the spine). My treatment plan is really complicated since I spend at least two months in Egypt each year. But I'll figure it out.

I currently have what I hope to be a temporary problem: tendon inflammation in my right wrist that shoots up to my whole arm, shoulder and neck. So obviously I can't use my right arm. So much fun! I tried a treatment that didn't work out and I was originally waiting to go back to Egypt to continue my treatment, but now I'm waiting for the pandemic to end haha.

Living with chronic pain all the time made me used to it for sure. Some days are worse than the others, of course. Some days I can't function at all. But what I really want people to understand is: living with chronic pain is living with of 40% of pain capacity (for example). So if I have a headache, it's not just a headache, it's a headache on top of other old issues. Which means I'm at 60% of pain capacity (for example). 

* Baby boomer: is a term used to refer to people born between 1946 and 1964. (my mom was born a few years after, but being a boomer is a lifestyle and mentality more than anything)

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Lockdown.

23/03/2020

I can't believe I'm writing this, I can't believe this is actually happening. This all feels like a horror movie. Or science-fiction. The coronavirus outbreak is really scary, the statistics are scary, the uncertainties we live on a daily basis are scary.  I don't want to spread negativity, and I won't.

I wish everyone's safe and home. Please be responsible. 

This lock-down gave all of us so much more spare time than usual. I'm not counting anymore the days. Time's become an illusion to me at this point.

From my balcony.

Like everyone, I spent a lot of time thinking and wondering about life. There are a lot of aspects of my life that I've been taking for granted: going out for fun, gatherings or even running errands. Hugging my beloved ones. Going shopping whenever I wanted even if it was for a pair of socks without caution or too much thinking. Buying non-essentials like desserts, takeout or even a pack of gum.

On the other hand, I appreciate basic necessities I've always had and still have despite a global pandemic: a roof over my head, electricity, water, a good internet connection and food. This reinforced my sense of responsibility and community towards less fortunate people out there. We're all in this together.

With more time on my hand, I found myself contacting old friends checking on them. I've been so busy, and they were too, that I didn't realize that I haven't caught up with some friends for a year or two. I call my close friends and family more frequently too. And they were a big help to fight the lack of social life I'm currently living as an extrovert.

During this time, I realized how some celebrities are straight-up stupid. There was this Egyptian "influencer" who posted the most obnoxious hair stylist ad ever, something along the lines of "I know everyone is having a hard time now, but look at my hair!! It was done by the talented Nobody Cares!!" Others shined differently. If you know me, you know I'm a huge fan of Justin Baldoni, he was the star on Jane the Virgin, but that's not why I love him, he always tackles the subject of healthy masculinity. So, anyway, Justin Baldoni used his platform many times to raise awareness about coronavirus and he tried to be helpful. For example, he had a live "interview" with his therapist so people could ask him questions about mental health during this tough time. Egyptian actors and athletes also had a challenge where they financially support families in need and nominate each other. This is a good use of fame!

This catastrophe highlighted the heroic role of doctors and all the healthcare workers. They have to deal with a lot of stress on a daily basis, let alone be very close to the virus. When we talk about people risking their lives during this pandemic, we often forget people who are still working and have to be in contact with the public: all the people working in the food industries whether they are  supermarket cashiers or farmers, people working in maintenance, cleaning and collecting garbage. Let alone volunteers helping people in need on a daily basis. The list is very long. Those people are the real stars, and they have been working backstage all this time. What is sad and unfair is that they're underpaid worldwide, but that it for another day.

I've always had in the back of my mind the saying "Everything but God is mortal" and could go in a split of a second. But our reality is a whole new level of change. This is beyond what anyone could've expected or imagined. All of our lives are on hold, despite how dynamic they were just before this.

I currently don't post much, but I'm trying to post more I swear! So click here to subscribe by email, and click here to read an old article. See you soon I hope! Take care.