Let People Thank You!

Personally, I keep thanking people for everything, from giving me a tissue to saving my life.

My short trip to Le Havre. Unrelated, but who cares?

If a teacher, for example hands me a test paper and I don't thank them instantly, because I'm focused and in the mood to problem-solve, I feel so rude seconds afterwards. And definitely overthink it later.

On the other side of the problem, some people get really offended when I do so. I have friends that would insult me if I thanked them. Literally:

- Thanks for lending me your book, by the way.

My overly dramatic friend: Oh, you silly, don't thank me. Are you dumb? We're good friends, it's illegal that we'd thank each other.  I'll kill you if you thank me again.

I'm not even exaggerating. Maybe a little. And yes, this is mainly you, Mahy. Also, sometimes Rozza.

Through what I originally came across randomly in some psychology article, you better accept all the "thank you"s you're pushing. The article gave a very convincing reason, which I put it to the test.

The reason behind accepting the "thank you"s is that, when you prevent or deny them, people gradually stop saying them. Not only this, but they'll eventually take you, and all your actions, for granted. With every "it's nothing" you say,  they'll progressively feel entitled to what you do and expect it each time they "ask" for it. They'd gradually demand it as if it's their right. If you decide to not provide it anymore for any reason, they'd feel betrayed, when you were actually doing an extra gesture in the first place.

Like I said before, I tested this method to see how differently I'd feel. I let people thank me, at first not replying at all, because I was not used to it and I was kind of embarrassed. It was exactly like when people sing to you happy birthday, you just stand there, smiling not knowing what to say. Or do. Then I, bit by bit, replied with "You're welcome". It made me feel good. Appreciated. What I did was valued and appreciated and deserved a simple statement of gratefulness.

So the article was right. And I'm advising everyone to just let people thank you!

Next time, I should write about over-apologizing and how you react to it. Stay tuned.

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