Am I Lucky or Hard-Working?

Hey beloved readers, how are you doing? How are the holidays/ finals?

Yesterday, I was lying in bed after a long exhausting day of cleaning the house and redecorating it, thinking about my life.

I reviewed my last three years, the ups and downs, then asked myself "Am I lucky or hard-working?"

Comfy cute PJs + new deep wallpaper + warm socks = winter vibes

I mean, I'm lucky to have such a supportive family who wanted me to study abroad. I'm lucky to have spent most of my school years in a French school and became fluent. I'm lucky to have been accepted in the best university in Paris. I'm lucky to have amazing friends who are by my side, despite the distance and despite all of us being busy adults. I'm so lucky to have Mahi with me, sharing the good and the bad moments, help me through the struggles and cheer for me. Last but not least, I'm beyond lucky to be with Alaa.

But..

It's not enough to just depend on my luck. 

I mean, yes it takes pure luck to have these things, but I have to work hard to maintain them. 

I worked so hard on my French, I didn't just depend on the school work. Now, I have to work so, so hard at my college to pass. I have to communicate a lot with all the people in my life in order to have healthy relationships with them, some times even sacrifie to maintain those relationships. I have to invest a lot of time and effort for those relationships.

I was lucky to have these things to begin with, yes, thank God! And I'm very thankful and aware that I'm privileged. But if I don't work hard enough to keep them, I'd lose everything.

What about my satisfaction? 

I mean, sometimes I forget for a second about how much I prayed for what I have now. (Very cliché but true, I promise). To make matters worse, sometimes because of a minor issue, I'm not satisfied with what I have. Or even worse, I want more..

Now, what I do when I'm not satisfied is that I remind myself of how much I was craving what I have now. I strongly believe that if a person is never satisfied that means they have a serious problem of insatisfaction, greediness and a lack of realisme. I believe that if you're pessimistic and only focus on what's missing from you, you're doing it wrong and you're not even fully living.

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Overthinking is Good.

Yeah you read that right! Also, I miss publishing articles so much!! 

Overthinking is good, I mean not when it prevents you from sleeping or functioning properly, of course.

Just hear my arguments. Maybe you'd be convinced.

I, like you, believed it was bad and exhausting to overthink everything. I was opposed to this philosophy too when Alaa kept saying it, until gradually I noticed its accuracy and saw how I improved.

Reviewing my recent actions is a part of my daily routine. Even the smallest ones. For example when I go to the supermarket, afterwards I start asking myself "Was I friendly enough? Did I smile enough? Or too much?"... At least this helps me know how I'm behaving and how to improve.

Overthinking is what helps me improve as a person, because it pushes me to communicate more and want to do better.

And of course the classic, reviewing old actions and thinking about what I could have done. This is useless. What good can thinking of what I did wrong five years ago do to me? I have no control over it. If I had a time machine, yeah that would've been perfect, but I don't.

We can now easily classify overthinking into two categories: the bad and pointless type of overthinking which I'd like to call: Pointless Overthinking and the good type that helps me improve: Good Overthinking. Very obvious and short names, I know!

When I review my actions and then go back to the people and ask them if I annoyed or hurt them, that's some Good Overthinking. When my overthinking pushes me to plan more for my future, it's the good type, but when I obsess over what I can't plan/ change and worry, it's the Pointless, obviously.

So, you have to train your brain. And this is what I'm still learning to do. Ask yourself, every time, "Is this constructive? Will this lead me to do better?"

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